Blogging again...

Listening to: Adele - Skyfall
Feeling: Free!

It's been 2 years since my last post and suddenly... I feel the urge to blog again. Maybe because the haze is back and I need to bitch somewhat.

My first post was on 6.22am 29 May 2004. OMG that's like 9 years ago. That's just crazy. It means I was up, strike that... I have yet to sleep. So much has changed. Now 6.22am is the time I wake up. 9 years can change  someone a lot I guess.

I sleep by 10.30pm and wake up by 7.30am. That's a lot of hours of sleep but hey, older people sleep more ok. LOL

Writing this, I feel rusty. Like it's hard to convey what I feel. I'm looking back at all my old posts and feel "OMG did I just write all that raw emotions down?" Seriously, it's not easy to pour my heart out nowadays.

I think 9 years had changed me much. I've learnt that talking about someone behind their backs don't pay and there will be people who claim to be your friend but they are not. I've learnt this a few years back the hard way.

I've also learnt that it's easier to be a friend than an enemy, so I've learnt to forgive. But I've also learnt that not everyone forgives. It's OK, because you'll feel better. :)

I am 31 this year and I started this blog when I was 22. I'm trying to re-read all my posts without cringing. I guess we all go through a bratty phase.

Right now, I think things are going alright. I am trying to gently steer life to where I think is right. It's tough but that's life and nothing in life is easy.

And now, I'll abruptly end this blog post. LOL.

Why?

Have you forgotten how to appreciate or love me?

It's been a long, long time

When was the last time I blogged?

Oh... more than half a year ago. I admit I'm a lazy bum. I still am but I have some time to kill so here I am.

Trust me, when you click clack on the keyboard almost 12 hours a day, the last thing you want to do is to click clack on the keyboard once again at the keyboard, regaling non-existent readers about your life.

But well, since I'm already here, here's what been happening...

I moved

Yes, we finally did. Home Sweet Home. Not that it all happened without any drama... Loads of blood sweat and tears. Mostly sweat and tears. Now we're kinda settled in. Furniture about 70% done, boxes mostly unpacked and we're gonna be hosting our house warming in about 2 weeks time. I bet there will be more tears coming from that one. Never knew moving can be so emotional.

I am still dating

Yes I am... Are we getting married? We try... Are we happy? At this moment, I am blissful.

I is Editor

Yes I is editor now. I can has power! Not really.. I am 'just the editor' according to the client. But I won't take heart because she has no idea what the publishing industry is like. I can has power again!

I am travelling... ALOT

I have been travelling like a mad horse this year. Not that I don't like it.... It's just that it's a little disruptive waking up in different hotels every two months once. I love my house (and pink room... did I mention I got the room of my dreams?) and I don't even get to spend enough time in it. Soon... soon! But it's for work... For leisure, I was in Japan (dream came true!) and Krabi and a few more other states in Malaysia... All I can say is, LOVING IT!

So far so good... Till the next time I update... This blog is not dead yet!

I promise...

For now...

What to say, what to do?

I bite my nails.

I count to ten.

I shall endure the sanfuness in my heart but for how long?

Don't burn my fuse too short

Listening to: Eason Chen - 幸福摩天輪
Feeling: A little Emo-ed

So they tell me that a relationship is not a bed of roses. I know that from day one but I never expected it to be this hard.

Me being naively me, thought that all problems can be solved if we talk it out. Reality check! Doesn't work that way. Not that I'm having probs with The Boy but it's little things that makes things well, a relationship.

Being part of The Couple-dom makes me realise how hard it is for some to maintain a long-term relationship. Often both sides claim that they make the most sacrifice. Me? I just feel that I keep quiet when I'm annoyed or angry. Why? Cause it's easier to let him win. Or is it?

I can be the first to tell you that I am a person with a very short fuse. But I'm all loud sounds and then I'm OK within the next hour. OK, let me rewrite that. I have a short and hidden fuse. With friends, I have this amazing patience but with my family, I am a live wire. That's what Mom tells me.

I think that's the case with me and The Boy now. I am patiently letting him give me the Silent Treatment (for no reason) or the Naggy Treatment (what? I thought it was only me who gives the Naggy Treatment) because I know that he will get over it in a bit. This is how it works right?

Right?

Cause I think my fuse is getting shorter by the day. I'm just praying that my patience level is recharged before I hit his next 'emo' session. Because I might just blow. And when that happens, it's not gonna be pretty.

Thing is, we're not fighting. Nor are we in this relationship rut. What rut? It has only been two months and a half. I think I need more time to understand this funny little thing called Love.

P/S: Katy Perry's Hot & Cold is my anthem of the mo.

A quick note

Listening to: Fergie - Glamorous
Feeling: Shiawasete

OK, cancel all previous emo entries. 2010 is a good year. More on that later!

Happy New Year and anticipating Chinese New Year!

On a happier note...

Listening to: Dragon Ash - Life goes on
Feeling: Unloaded

I am going to Japan for 2 week in April 2010. Now I can die happy!!!!

Back to where we have started...

Listening to: Zee Avi - First of the Gang
Feeling: Left behind

It has been almost half a year since I last blogged. It has been a whirlwind year, with the purchase of the house, change of jobs, weddings all year round, gym and Japanese classes. Though there had not been much freelance jobs, I feel I don't have much time for myself.

I have yet to welcome the arrival of Hayley, Cin and BK's second bundle of joy and the latest princess for me to dote upon. Caden is now all grown up, a natural heartbreaker, cute as a button and cool as ice. I feel so old typing this but yes, Caden is 1 year and 4 months old now. Really, time flies when you're having fun no?

I was thinking of giving up blogging (right) cause I just don't have much to write about. But really, what is life without drama right? There had been loads happening, it's just that it's just too petty to put it down in words. Nothing witty or funny happened. Until yesterday...

You see, it had been a year of weddings and reunions during the said weddings. Frankly, at the right old age of 27 (though many might disagree, thanks guys I love you too) and at the last count, nil relationships to my name, I am starting to worry.

Questions of "When was the last time did you actually feel a fluttering in your stomach when you meet someone new" arose. I mean, the last that happened was when I read Twilight and fell in love with Edward Cullen. And then when I read Matthew Reilly's Scarecrow stories. I mean, how fucking sad is that. And on top of ALL that, I get questions from all around. People can't comprehend the singledom that I have embraced. I couldn't too at times... I feel emotionally inept. It's a little strange and hard to explain cause I can't even explain it to myself...

And so after much contemplating and support, (thanks guys, you know who you are) I have finally decided to give in, to give it a try. Apparently, this one person who had once took a liking to me had waited. Hey, I have waited before and it's not something easy or pleasant. I felt bad. Extremely! But oh well, never too late. Waiter says that he waited, all alone...

And so I find out yesterday that waiter had lied. It's sad. I wonder how can I trust another guy after this. Not the first time, I don't think this will be the last as well. It's not that I liked this guy to begin with. I thought, let's give this a try. But fact is, he lied. And really, I am angry at myself yet again for being so naive...

Yes yes, this is boring stuff... Nothing juicy but something that bothered me more than I would ever admit. While writing this post, I checked out postsecret.blogspot.com...

Credits: Postsecrets.blogspot.com

I'm not feeling sorry for myself I promise but this is just too weird because this one secret sorta concludes how I feel about this whole situation that I myself don't really understand.

And here I am, back to square one...

and so I can finally sleep... restlessly

Listening to: Billy Joel - Lullaby & Robert Pattinson - Never Think
Feeling: Sleepy

I am getting a little desperate because I'm about to finish Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun. Sigh.. What am I gonna do?

And, I am pissed off. Maybe I should really take some anger management classes... or something.

T^T

and fuck you too...

Listening to: Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
Feeling: Icky...

Point to ponder...

To be nice only to know later on that people think you're an idiot...

OR

To be mean only to be called a bitch?

Sometimes life really a sonofabitch

I wish I am in Forks Washington!

Twilightitis

Listening to: Paramore - I caught myself
Feeling: OHNO-ish



Am reading the Twilight saga now and I wish I am 19 again. While age never really mattered to me, this stupid story (that I dearly love) made me wish I'm in college again. I feel so unhealthy!

It was scary when Seems & WP started obsessing about Twilight and all I could do was look at their emails and grimace, wondering if this two perfectly sane and sensible people have gone nuts. Having read the books, I totally understand why they went nuts, I'm standing at the brink of insanity too!

Edward is a gentlemen every straight girl (and not-so-straight guys) would want. Stephenie Meyer must have been looking for an Edward too when she wrote the Twilight saga.

I think the only reason why Twilight's sales skyrocketed because every hot blooded girl wants an Edward in their life! I mean, even all the obasans are going ga-ga over him. I never thought the name Edward could be hot, but now I'm thinking I should name my kid Edward. Tee hee...

When can I find my Edward?

Back to reading Eclipse (and downloading more Twilight related wallpaper)!

Edit: HOMYFUCKINGGAWD, he sings too!!!