Listening to: Mika Nakashima - Resistance
Feeling: sleepy!
OK, so today someone told me that he'll give me tips on msn on how to pick up guys... And so...
He says: OK, this is what you should do... When you find your target, pretend flip on your phone and say while walking towards him... "Ah yah, Mun Fen, how ah? How to get there ah? Huh turn left? Aiyoh I am not familiar with this place la... You also ah? How ah?" and 'accidently' bump into him...
Mesays: Err...... *Why am I talking to this person in the first place anyways?*
He says: And then ah, you apologize loe... And then you say to him "Execute me.... Do you know how to get to this place"
Mesays: WHAT? EXECUTE ME?
He says: Ya la... can strike up conversation with him then ma... If it's me I would do it loe...
Mesays: Execute me? *sputters and spits onto screen in silent laughter...*
He says: Ya la... if not so rude ma.. interupt without excusing yourself...
Mesays: *long silence* Why in the world am I taking advice from this single guy anyway???
*dies of laughter... *
Execute me while I laugh my ass off!
Showing posts with label Red Faced. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Red Faced. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2009
Monday, September 03, 2007
Kisah lucu hari Sunday
Listening to: M-Flo feat Crystal K - Reeewind!
Feeling: D'oh!
So yesterday we were at Zoe's place for her birthday party got had a great time.
As usual, something drama happened again...
Another colleague of mine, Losh wanted to leave her keys and phone in my bag so she did and as she was leaving, I reached into my bag for her stuff and counted, 'Your house keys, your car keys' and with that she left...
Later after much bad karaoke (well, at least on my part) we were ready to leave (I am sure to much her neighbor's relieve) and I was rummaging around my bag for my car keys when *WHAM* I realized that I had conveniently gave my car keys to Losh and I have her car keys with me...
You see, she didn't drive and she hitched a ride from Seems back home.
At that moment, I felt as though the whole world stopped spinning as everyone in the world started saying 'DOH' to me..
So I had to leave my car in Zoe's house and hitch a ride back with Jo's boyfriend. Malu like hell ok...
Sigh.. That was my kisah lucu hari Sunday. Everyday is a different drama; that's me.
Feeling: D'oh!
So yesterday we were at Zoe's place for her birthday party got had a great time.
As usual, something drama happened again...
Another colleague of mine, Losh wanted to leave her keys and phone in my bag so she did and as she was leaving, I reached into my bag for her stuff and counted, 'Your house keys, your car keys' and with that she left...
Later after much bad karaoke (well, at least on my part) we were ready to leave (I am sure to much her neighbor's relieve) and I was rummaging around my bag for my car keys when *WHAM* I realized that I had conveniently gave my car keys to Losh and I have her car keys with me...
You see, she didn't drive and she hitched a ride from Seems back home.
At that moment, I felt as though the whole world stopped spinning as everyone in the world started saying 'DOH' to me..
So I had to leave my car in Zoe's house and hitch a ride back with Jo's boyfriend. Malu like hell ok...
Sigh.. That was my kisah lucu hari Sunday. Everyday is a different drama; that's me.
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Drinking Game
Listening to: M2M - Everything you do
Feeling: Want some romance in my life!
Me, NickyBoy, JoeCareBear, Yews and Tan were supposed to have lunch on Sunday but on the same day itself NickyBoy (Well, it was our joint B'Day celebration) called and told us that he got "fucked up" the night before and just got home (morning after)
Well, knowing us and our overactive imagination, JoeCareBear called and told me about it... You would already have guessed what we thought happened to NickyBoy. Obviously 'Fucked Up' was a bad choice of words.
Came Monday (no one dared to call him and ask what happened over the weekend) I decided to email him and asked what happened. His reply was hilarious! I have to ask his permission to post his email here but it went along the line of him puking all the way from the clubs to his friend's place (all of which he couldn't remember) and finally waking up the next morning beside a guy who only had his boxers on (his friend, to give him the benefit of the doubt).
OK to clear the air, nothing happened between them alright?
Totally reminded me of the time I passed out in Zouk after taking 8 shots of vodkas on an empty stomach. I dunno about the rest but I will definitely NOT do anything 'brave' like that anymore. According to eye-witnesses I just slumped over and slept. Only to wake up to puke, like three times. Really funny for them and until today I feel so embarrassed! Never again!
I have to say in my entire drinking career, I had only been really drunk twice. Once in Zouk and the other time at home where we smarty pants decided to imbibe cheap IKEA Vodka. RM30 for a liter of hell. Never again! I downed one mug of heavily laced OJ and had to crawl up to my room to sleep off the alcohol after puking my guts out. That was so bad I thought if I lit a cigarette, I would have blown out flames.
And you would have thought we would learn our lessons? NOPE...
I turn really sucky and quiet when I am drunk so I am really not much fun to be with after 8 shots of vodka. If you ever go clubbing with me and you see me sitting in a corner, you better lead me to the nearest toilet cause I might just do an Exorcise moment anytime soon.
My friends have weird drunken habits as well. One plops onto bed with only towel after shower, another talks cock like a pro and another just likes molesting unknown guys. The best was still the one who thought he was a bird and wanted to 'fly' off the balcony of an apartment.
I feel so old because I'm talking as though I am 35 and reminiscing about the good ol' days. Hey I am not alright!
Ah... Monday night blues!!!
Feeling: Want some romance in my life!
Me, NickyBoy, JoeCareBear, Yews and Tan were supposed to have lunch on Sunday but on the same day itself NickyBoy (Well, it was our joint B'Day celebration) called and told us that he got "fucked up" the night before and just got home (morning after)
Well, knowing us and our overactive imagination, JoeCareBear called and told me about it... You would already have guessed what we thought happened to NickyBoy. Obviously 'Fucked Up' was a bad choice of words.
Came Monday (no one dared to call him and ask what happened over the weekend) I decided to email him and asked what happened. His reply was hilarious! I have to ask his permission to post his email here but it went along the line of him puking all the way from the clubs to his friend's place (all of which he couldn't remember) and finally waking up the next morning beside a guy who only had his boxers on (his friend, to give him the benefit of the doubt).
OK to clear the air, nothing happened between them alright?
Totally reminded me of the time I passed out in Zouk after taking 8 shots of vodkas on an empty stomach. I dunno about the rest but I will definitely NOT do anything 'brave' like that anymore. According to eye-witnesses I just slumped over and slept. Only to wake up to puke, like three times. Really funny for them and until today I feel so embarrassed! Never again!
I have to say in my entire drinking career, I had only been really drunk twice. Once in Zouk and the other time at home where we smarty pants decided to imbibe cheap IKEA Vodka. RM30 for a liter of hell. Never again! I downed one mug of heavily laced OJ and had to crawl up to my room to sleep off the alcohol after puking my guts out. That was so bad I thought if I lit a cigarette, I would have blown out flames.
And you would have thought we would learn our lessons? NOPE...
I turn really sucky and quiet when I am drunk so I am really not much fun to be with after 8 shots of vodka. If you ever go clubbing with me and you see me sitting in a corner, you better lead me to the nearest toilet cause I might just do an Exorcise moment anytime soon.
My friends have weird drunken habits as well. One plops onto bed with only towel after shower, another talks cock like a pro and another just likes molesting unknown guys. The best was still the one who thought he was a bird and wanted to 'fly' off the balcony of an apartment.
I feel so old because I'm talking as though I am 35 and reminiscing about the good ol' days. Hey I am not alright!
Ah... Monday night blues!!!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Too Hot!!!
Listening to: M2M - Why
Feeling: I wanna fall in love.. hahahha
My latest lust object is this HAWTTTT Korean by the name of Lee Dong Wook.
Watch Kdrama 'My Girl' to fully understand...
Sigh.... I wish I am styling him....
Feeling: I wanna fall in love.. hahahha
My latest lust object is this HAWTTTT Korean by the name of Lee Dong Wook.
Watch Kdrama 'My Girl' to fully understand...
Sigh.... I wish I am styling him....
Friday, October 06, 2006
Embarrassment of the day
Listening to: Maaya Sakamoto - Loop
Feeling: TGIF
So I was out loaning from One Utama today. It's not a particularly stressful day. Apart from the haze, it's Friday and I am happy. Need to pick up stuff from two shops that are next to each other (which makes my job much easier) and then it's back to the office I go. The fact that my boss left the office for an appointment makes this Friday much sweeter.
So ladida.. I walked into the shop. This shop had always been kinda difficult for me because they have always been so meticulous about things but somehow I have broken through that icy I-am-the-guardian-of-the-shop-don't-fuck-with-me air and they had always been friendly with me.
I've not seen the sales assistant for a few months prior to today. When I walked in I saw one of the girls and it's either she gained like a lot of weight or she is pregnant. Now I do not have anything against fat people (DUH. If I do then it's like I have something against myself right?) but I was looking hard at her belly while talking to her because I was wondering what are the chances of her NOT being pregnant. She was always slim and it does really look as though she was pregnant.
Here's what happened...
Me: Wow... Like long time no see *stares at her stomach*
She: *Looks at her stomach* Ya lah.. Long time no see... How are you?
Me: *Still staring at her stomach* I am great! *still wondering if I should ask if she's pregnant* So... Are you.....
She: Huh? Am I?
This is a classic moment. It's like how you are shitting and there is a piece of shit stuck between your exit hole and the toilet bowl. Yeap... I was stuck between the shithole (my mouth) and the toilet bowl (and that will definitely hit the fan) I knew she was not preggers by then because of her reaction towards my question... OK, here it goes...
Me: Are you pregnant or something?
She: No... *Now that's what I call a pregnant pause* I just gained a lot of weight la...
OMFGGGGGGG!!!!111oneoneone
I was so fucking embarrassed! If someone were to ask me if I were pregnant I would have prolly pulled his/her tongue out and BBQ it and then feed it to the dogs. I wanted to the shop to swallow me up and spit me out. I wanted to DIE...
So I bid my hasty goodbye and mumbled some lame apology/excuse... And nearly ran off, in the process nearly toppling a mannequin.
Feeling: TGIF
So I was out loaning from One Utama today. It's not a particularly stressful day. Apart from the haze, it's Friday and I am happy. Need to pick up stuff from two shops that are next to each other (which makes my job much easier) and then it's back to the office I go. The fact that my boss left the office for an appointment makes this Friday much sweeter.
So ladida.. I walked into the shop. This shop had always been kinda difficult for me because they have always been so meticulous about things but somehow I have broken through that icy I-am-the-guardian-of-the-shop-don't-fuck-with-me air and they had always been friendly with me.
I've not seen the sales assistant for a few months prior to today. When I walked in I saw one of the girls and it's either she gained like a lot of weight or she is pregnant. Now I do not have anything against fat people (DUH. If I do then it's like I have something against myself right?) but I was looking hard at her belly while talking to her because I was wondering what are the chances of her NOT being pregnant. She was always slim and it does really look as though she was pregnant.
Here's what happened...
Me: Wow... Like long time no see *stares at her stomach*
She: *Looks at her stomach* Ya lah.. Long time no see... How are you?
Me: *Still staring at her stomach* I am great! *still wondering if I should ask if she's pregnant* So... Are you.....
She: Huh? Am I?
This is a classic moment. It's like how you are shitting and there is a piece of shit stuck between your exit hole and the toilet bowl. Yeap... I was stuck between the shithole (my mouth) and the toilet bowl (and that will definitely hit the fan) I knew she was not preggers by then because of her reaction towards my question... OK, here it goes...
Me: Are you pregnant or something?
She: No... *Now that's what I call a pregnant pause* I just gained a lot of weight la...
OMFGGGGGGG!!!!111oneoneone
I was so fucking embarrassed! If someone were to ask me if I were pregnant I would have prolly pulled his/her tongue out and BBQ it and then feed it to the dogs. I wanted to the shop to swallow me up and spit me out. I wanted to DIE...
So I bid my hasty goodbye and mumbled some lame apology/excuse... And nearly ran off, in the process nearly toppling a mannequin.
Everyone now say it with me...
Gimme an E
Gimme an M
Gimme a B
Gimme an A
Gimme an R
Gimme an R
Gimme an A
Gimme an S
Gimme an S
Gimme an M
Gimme an E
Gimme an N
Gimme an T
I'll go wither and die now...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Joke of the day
Listening to: Kelis - Millionaire
Feeling: Sad cause my guppies died
My brother was involved in a three car bumper to bumper two days back in BU11 housing area. The first driver was a lady (my lovely brother said it was not a surprise) who braked suddenly, second car couldn't stop and bumped her back and needless to say, my brother was the last one to hit. Dad's car was fine. No scratch even but I think the middle car was pretty badly done in.
Naturally, everyone wanted to claim insurance and off they went to the police station to make a report. When the police questioned the lady driver why she braked so suddenly, the lady replied.... *drumroll please..*
"I thought saw a cow that's why I braked"
*let's end this story with a round of applause please!*
P/S: The only cow around was driving in the car at that time.
Feeling: Sad cause my guppies died
My brother was involved in a three car bumper to bumper two days back in BU11 housing area. The first driver was a lady (my lovely brother said it was not a surprise) who braked suddenly, second car couldn't stop and bumped her back and needless to say, my brother was the last one to hit. Dad's car was fine. No scratch even but I think the middle car was pretty badly done in.
Naturally, everyone wanted to claim insurance and off they went to the police station to make a report. When the police questioned the lady driver why she braked so suddenly, the lady replied.... *drumroll please..*
"I thought saw a cow that's why I braked"
*let's end this story with a round of applause please!*
P/S: The only cow around was driving in the car at that time.
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