Outside looking in

Popo, if you're looking in on us from above do know that we are not doing well. Do know that shit has hit the fan and do know that we are missing you.

Do know that we loved you all the way till the end and until now.

It's just that we don't show it but that doesn't mean we don't love you. I think you know too and I think you understand.

If they don't then it's ok but it hurts to know that they think you died alone. You did not. Like how you are with us now, we were with you.

My December

Listening to: Princess Mononoke soundtrack
Feeling: Is there anything to look forward to anymore?

Dear all,

It's been a long time since I last blogged and boy had it been a crazy one. I think nothing can describe 'crazy' apart from the word shit. This must be as bad as it can get.

First off a friend of mine jumped and died. From what god knows...

Then my grandma's condition worsened. Then two months down the road, she went peacefully in her sleep. Well, at the very least she went in her sleep peacefully.

Then my favourite grand aunty went too.

All this within two months.

Wait, it gets better.

Problems with money, bills, dad and extended family.

Money earned from extra work goes straight somewhere else. I can just forget Japan NOW.

I wonder somehow now if there is a god. And if there is, what did we do to deserve this? I question my very existence.

If this continues, is there even a reason to live anymore? There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to celebrate.

I just feel so damn tired. I hate this part right here...

And I hope the only way is up from now onwards...

25

Just for the sake of updating...

1. I prefer soft pastel pink to just pink.

2. I will drive the extra mile to get to Burger King.

3. My obsession with manga started off with Dragon Ball but somehow I am not too excited to watch the movie version of it.

4. I don't like watching TV.

5. I have a few books waiting to be written.

6. I wish I am connected to the internet 24/7.

7. I wish I have every gadget in the world in my pocket ala Doraemon.

8. Diamonds make me go a little weak in the knees.

9. Pumpkin rawks!

10. I wish to buy a house for my own and convert one of the rooms into a library (with floor length bookshelves please) filled with manga on one side and books on the other. Another room will be turned into a pink shrine.

11. My biological clock is ticking. Just so you know....

12. I love cooking without the veggie peeling and prep work. And I think I can be a pretty darn good cook.

13. I am Japanese in my past live.

14. I don't wake up until after 2pm.

15. I love playing mahjong and can go on and on like a freaking Energizer bunny.

16. I love my family and wish we can be a little more abnormal (like the Addams family or something)

17. I believe in all Chinese hocus pocus.

18. I am low maintenance.I don't eat seafood and buy expensive clothes. I just want to travel the world.

19. I have so much junk in my room I probably need a month to clear it up.

20. I get annoyed when people are repetitive.

21. My dream house has pink walls and an island kitchen with an in-built oven. And (read no.10)

22. I smoke too much for my own good.

23. I only own 6 pairs of shoes. 2 pairs of sneakers, 3 pairs of highheels and 1 pair of flats. Out of the 6, I only wear the flats. EVERY SINGLE DAY! And out of the 6, I only bought 2 of them.

24. I am taking Japanese language class to prepare myself for my homecoming to Japan, where I am SUPPOSED to be born in.

25. I wish I can go on a holiday with my whole family.