Timeout

Listening to: Ryan Cabrera - True

It's lunchtime in Bluinc and I'm sitting at my desk, trying to think straight. Pretty much failing. Am too sleepy. T-T *mental note to self - sleep earlier tonight*

So tummy's growling now.. gonna go buy food, come back and then continue my bitchings

Starting Anew...

Listening to: LeAnn Rimes Xmas Album
Where: Sitting me ass in the office

My, my I am feeling Xmassy today.. Went for the Quiksilver Surfpool Challenge. It was a bore. A few lengchais but darnit, they are so totally full of themselves. So excused meself and went Xmas shopping abit in Sunway Pyramid. Blew a hundred or so bucks there.. And I jst kept buying buying buying (like that BEP song) So yeah.. that was my Sunday and here I am in the office, finished what I was supposed to do but just wanna jot my day down before I leave for home and dinner.

It has been some time since I've updated my blog. Not cause I was lazy, but cause I was busy. So gonna go tru everything that had happened. Well.. actually, to think about it nothing much had been happening in my life. Maybe that is why I feel so restless..

Since my last entry, I had been thinking loads about life and about waiting for the right person. The same old same old. Work has been great. I actually look forward to come to work, weird huh? Maybe one of the reasons why is cuz I look forward to see someone here. Hah... Jay is a great guy, not that he has anything for me but I am comfy hanging out with him. Hahah... Does this mean I'm tripping over him? (as Gem would say) I dunno... maybe I am. But it feels as though it is a never ending story.. and guess what? It has not even ended and it is starting already. GodDamnit...

Maybe not.. For the moment, the feeling is mild. The feeling of falling is actually good, but I know the ending and it is shit. /swt. But it's weird in the sense that I know how it would end but I am still going into that blackhole? OHNO...

And about the waiting, I am still waiting.. I am just not sure what will happen when the wait is over and he is back. Not that anything will happen, but I guess maybe even our friendship will not be as before. I can feel it. Really.. sometimes when I talk to him he gives me one word answers. Good in the sense that I could forget him easier than before bad in the sense that if this goes on, whatever little bit of thing I had with him would turn to nothingness. I am confused. So what should I do now?

Seeing you, Missing you

Saw someone who looked like HIM the other day, and all of a sudden, I felt.. *ok, it was silly* but I felt like I miss him, LOTS. It was unnecessary, but yeah. Now that the situation has changed and I might not be able to see him till much later, I was sad. Very.

I am confused in a way. Because really, I thought I was kinda over him at a stage. Suddenly the feeling just rushed in and I am overwhelmed. Really, if I had one wish, I would wish that this feeling would go away. I never knew that loving someone would be so painful.. Take it away!