Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Kota Kinabalu Invasion, Captain Pink reporting from home base

Listening to: Bee Gees - New York Mining Disaster 1941
Feeling: Sick and tired of working

OK, I know it has been at least a month since I promised to blog about my fantastic trip to Sabah courtesy of IKEA. Here I am waiting for Cindy in Starfucks because she wants to show off her new Wifi network card and she is still in The Curve waiting in line for Baskin Robbins. Since I am sitting here surfing aimlessly *I was supposed to do my work but fuck it* I guess I should start writing about the trip.

It started out with a phone call from Tracy asking if I'm free on a certain date. Of course I said yes! Media trips are pretty hard to come by and when you're in this low paying industry, trips are like super perks. Soon came a message in the bottle style invite asking us to bring mozzie repellent, instant noodles and driving license. I was like OMFG, where are they bringing us? The trip is supposed to be a surprise trip. We are to go to the airport and wait there to see where we are going. Really exciting I tell you because you are just totally hanging at the edge of suspense thinking where we are going. By a stroke of luck, Sarah N was selected to go for the trip as well! Yay... Kst was jealous because we just got back from a trip and now here we are going for another.. Nyah..

Packing for this trip was a bitch I tell you. Really didn't know what to bring and so in the end I just packed everything into my trusty hand luggage bag. *note to self, should get those nifty looking rollies the next time* Reached the LCCT in good time and as we stood in front of the flight details board (whatever you call them) we speculated some more about where we are about to head to. Since our flight's at 11.10 am, it was between Penang and Kota Kinabalu... I was praying that it'll be Kota Kinabalu. At last we got our flight tickets and we confirmed it was Kota Kinabalu. Me and Sarah N looked at each other and grinned. We had wanted to visit the East coast for quite some time and we never had the time or money to do so. Now we are going for free! Yay! Go us!

As we boarded Air Asia, I still had no idea that we were supposed to be in that cramped cabin for 3 hours. Oh no.. Mr. Tony Fernandez.. if you're ever gonna read this, your seats are damn cramped! And I am freaking claustrophobic.

Anyway, I slept most of the way cause I procrastinated and didn't pack my clothes until the night before and I only slept at 4am and woke up at 7am. When we got to the Kota Kinabalu airport, we were given a slip that says we can only be in Sabah/Sarawak for 3 months max. And worst is that we have to return the slip when we board our flight back to KL. If not have to report to police. So scary!

The Sabah airport looks like a bus stop. That's all I thought of when we were standing at the arrival hall.

So anyways, we were carted off to our hotel, it was a secret all the way. We didn't even know where we were going for dinner and lunch. We were given tips on what to wear and stuff like that but apart from that, we are totally clueless.

We arrived at Sutera Pacific. Never heard of it and it looks alright from the outside... I heard kompang the moment we got off the coach. Guess what?

welcoming commitee
Nice, uh... feathers...

There were a bunch of half naked guys welcoming us. Come on.. it doesn't get any better!

Or does it?

We were carted off to lunch... Had a beautiful view of Sutera Harbour where the rich dock their yachts and what nots.

Lunch with a view

Didn't manage to take much pictures because me and Sarah N were too excited about this whole thing. And we were bloody hungry... Makan first!

Then we were instructed to go back to our room to freshen up. And meet in the lobby in half an hour's time. Oh man... Apparently we are going for some outing that includes water elements. So exciting!

View from room

Ran up to our rooms, we got individual rooms by the way. The initial plan was to just dump our bags and run down but once we got to our rooms...

super toilet

Before I could even think of anything else, the phone rang and it was Sarah N.


Soon we were both screaming and jumping on the beds. Gosh... you have to understand that we both have something for beautiful bathrooms. Think about it, I can have a soak, smoke and watch TV at the same time. Woot... The geek in me is happy!

But alas, it's time for us to meet in the lobby for our next outing. We walked down to the harbour and...

Nice ship

OMG, are we having a party on a yacht ala Paris Hilton?

Me and Nic

YES we are! My god... it's my first time on a yacht and it's so effing fun...

Doing it like Paris and Nicole

Doing it like Paris and Nicole. Damn I was not wearing my Channel.

It was really cool cause we were just cruising along the island and it was so fun sitting on the deck *instead of a desk, geddit?* with wind blowing in our hair. I loves it!

Me posing on yatch

Social-ed with loads of cool people there. This is me and Gord.. Gord works for Galaxie. He's a sweetie!

Me and Gord

Walked around the yacht and saw these cute little bunk beds...

Can't imagine actually sleeping in these little beds. But they are just too cute!

The next day, they planned a treasure hunt for us. What a great idea, instead of them bringing us to check out the local attractions, we were given the task of looking for them. So much fun! I've always wanted to do treasure hunts. Dream came true! Thank goodness my team members are all cool ones. No one smoked except for me but they didn't say 'Eh, don't smoke la, so smelly." or anything like that. Thank goodness!

Resting during the treasure hunt
Me and Ling Ai, our team leader!

Jalur Gemilang
View of the harbor. We started out here...

Clear waters
The water here is so clean. You can practically see the bottom of the boat! Just don't mind the mineral water bottle some fucker decided to throw into the water

Nice birdy!
Pretty pictures I took during the treasure hunt as clues

Love this picture of papyrus in the hotel garden!

We were running around like crazed and dazed people, trying to look for clues and buying the items required. In the end, we were drenched with sweat and I was dying for water and ciggies.

At this point, we were just being crazy

We drove to one of the smaller villages and had to look for a bridge with a legend... We were like, huh?

I had to run to and fro this bridge like 3 times. There goes lunch!

Next we drove uphill on a white water rafting experience. The place was fantastic... Like something out of a dream! I love it. Funny thing was that it was raining but it added to the look of the whole place. Made it look so fresh and pretty.

Look ma, water buffaloes!

This looks like something out of Howl's Moving Castle

Warriors of the river
River warriors waiting for battle!

Rafting was a totally new experience to me and I am already planning to do level 3 and 4 something soon! Apart from the occasional "Ular" (snakes) and screaming (with an unfortunate Sarah N who got whacked on the head by a low hanging branch) we all got to the end point wet, tired and thrilled with the experience. Unfortunately we didn't bring our camera down to the river cause we were afraid that we might drop the camera into the water during the rough and tumble.

But I can tell you the whole treasure hunt running around was totally worth it because ...



I am now RM300 richer (In IKEA money) and am now thinking of what to buy.. hmmm maybe a new desk and chair...

We had about 2 hours to rest in between before we head off for dinner... On the coach, our guide Fabian told us about the legend of the head hunters. We didn't know where we were heading towards but by the time we reached the location, we kind of guessed where we're heading to.

We were welcomed to the Cultural Village by lovely ladies in pretty traditional costumes of the Kadazan Dusun tribe, pouring tuak or homemade rice wine. It was so delicious that I downed 3 shots in one go. I looked pretty greedy with 3 cups in my hand, walking around.

The welcoming committee at the cultural village . Is it just me or they look kinda bored?

The guides took us around for a little show and tell session around the village. My favorite part of this little tour is when they showed us ways of making tuak. Tuak is actually a ceremonial wine usually made for festivals and as gifts. YUM!

Moonshine, anyone?

P/S: I think it's actually illegal to buy tuak as you need to apply for a license to sell liquor.

P/S/S: Damn, should have bought some home. Erk...

Beading is hard work! But it seemed so easy for them and I wonder how long it took to master it

At the end of the little tour, we were ushered into a large open air hall where they prepared a cultural dance for us! It's incredible, I mean, I've seen this on TV but this is totally something else! The locals invited us to dance with them. It's like a Soul Train but with kompangs. Totally cool. Dinner was same old same old but throughout dinner, we were treated to dance performances and singing. Didn't get to take any pictures because it was too dark and pictures came out really crappy.

Plus I was too red to take any pictures. The lady who served me and Sarah N eventually left us double shots as they can't be bothered with refilling our cups once because we down it within 3 minutes. *Hic*

We were totally exhausted after the dinner and dance evening but me and Sarah N were pretty determined to check out the Kota Kinabalu party scene so we decided to go down to the club located within the hotel itself.

The scene's so-so... Music's alright.. They were playing R&B and eventually a live band came upstage to play. I was blown away by their rendition of Teriyaki Boyz's "Be in Tokyo". The singing's a bit off but I guess the music totally made it up. Using the Gamelan for the beginning bit, they totally worked the crowd!

Me and Gord set the dancefloor on FIRE! But guess I am getting pretty old because my legs were dying after an hour only of dancing. Decided to go back to my room to sleep as we have to rise and shine real early the next day.

By 8am we were already at the reception area waiting for everyone to gather before we take a boat ride to our next destination...

Gunung Kinabalu! Apparently we were lucky to be able to see it cause it's usually covered in mist!

The wake of our motor speed boats. So pretty right? No photo editing done to this picture

We landed on one of the islands around KK and boy did we squeal... It was breakfast on the beach, complete with cooks standing in water cooking eggs and bacon while waves rushed up to tickle their feet. Check it out!

Breakfast by the beach

The guys who stood under the hot sun and cooked breakfast for us

Me with the Gamelan. That was supposed to be our entertainment

After that we were actually free to go around for their water sports facilities. Most of us did things we had not done before. Me and Sarah N opted for para-sailing...

All strapped up and no where to go... YET.



It's kinda like a kite. You are strapped to a parachute and then the speed boat goes really fast and when the time is right, they let you go and up, up and away, you're up in the skies. I was actually kind of worried that the parachute couldn't support me. Maybe that's why I had to go alone where else everyone else did a partner thing. It was kinda boring on top... Quiet and you can see a lot of shit/scum on the sea. Doesn't that kind of remind you of work?

Thus we ended our little island hopping stint. Got back to the room and had to pack to leave for the airport.

KK Airport
Crazy and fun people!

Me and Sarah N were already planning our trip back in the plane. Both of us loved KK! Tiring but truly awe inspiring, I want to climb Mount Kinabalu next!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Questions you might *or might not* want answers to

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
My cousin!

2. At what time do you go to sleep?
uhm... usualy by 3am on a working day

3. How many times have you spoken French?
Does 'escargot' count?

4. Have you ever drunk milk straight out of thecarton?
Yeah.. hahah

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Haven't joined one before but think I might just win if I did

7. How fast can you type?
Really fast... can't see my fingers most of the time. Training on MSN had paid off

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Sometimes. But I am usually active in the dark. haha

9. Eye color?
Dark Brown

11. The worst ex you’ve had?
Never had sex, OH.. sorry. I thought you said sex.. hahah

12. Do you knock on wood?
All the time!

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
Hazelnut Hot Chocolate from Starfucks

15. Can you hoola hoop?
Badly... But still can!

16. Are you good at keeping secrets?
Pretty good cause I am like super forgetful!

17. What do you want for Christmas?
A blank cheque

18. Do you know the Muffin Man?
I had him for breakfast

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
I hope not!

20. Who wrote the book of love?
God! And he made some typos in mine..

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
YES! Best experience ever!

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
NO! Sigh..

24. How many people are on your contact list ofyour cell?
A hundred or so..

25. Have you ever asked for a pony?~ Yes… several My Little Ponies.

26. Plans for tomorrow?
Meetings and work.. damn

28. Missing someone now?
Am missing something now... MY PS2!

31. How are you feeling today?
Post holiday syndrome. The one where you don't wanna work!

32. Are you happy?
Most of the time

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Never! Though I wish I had... My school days were boring! I was the geek.. Still am. Haha

34. What are you looking forward to?
A nice trip up the mountains with good friends... Sigh

34. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Can't get through the small grills

35. Have you ever eaten dog food?
Erk.. heard it tastes good

36. Can you handle the truth?
I might sulk but I guess I can live with it

37. Do you like green eggs and ham?
.... What's green eggs?

38. What 3 things you always bring with you to places?
Mobile phone, ciggies and money

39. Do you like or have a crush on anyone right now?
No.. How boring

40. How many kids do you plan to have?
Ideally 4. Heheh

41. What do you do when no one is watching?
Dig my nose

42. Do you talk to yourself?
NO! only inside my head...

43. Is there something you want that you can't have?
YES YES YES! I want more money

44.Three physical features of the opposite sex that you first notice?
Hair, nice strong arms and smile! *So fucking corny right?*

45.Who are you thinking about right now?
Cindy Foo. Where the hell are you?

46. Who did you last hug?
My cute lil cousin

47. Where is your phone?
My mobile's in my bag.

48. What was the last thing you ate?

49. What do you want to do?
Blog about something more interesting~

50. Would you ever date anyone on your friendslist?
Depends and maybe..

51. What TV Show do you watch?
CSI is still my fave..

52. What is your cell num?

Welcome back to work everyone!

Listening to: Random music
Feeling: Strangely happy

It's like Thursday, but it's the first day of the working week. I feel strangely happy. Must be my hormones acting up again...

Green lights all the way to work, got to the office at ten sharp. Boss is not around.. still on leave I was told. That must have contributed to my happiness.. hehehe... Leaving the office to loan and return later... So it will be a short working day!

One full day of shooting tomorrow and then it's the freaking weekend! Yay~ Go me...

Will blog about my eventful 5 day holiday later... :p

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Listening to: Ah Sang - Ye Zi
Feeling: Lazy!

It's the start of my 5 day holiday and I am already in the mood to do some serious lazing around...

To all Hindu friends, Selamat Deepavali

To all Muslim friends, Selamat Hari Raya

To all non Hindu and Muslim friends... Happy lazing around holidays!

Got a party coming up on Monday at Cin's place... The theme is retro and I am making fruit salad!!!

Will blog about that soon!!!! If I'm not too lazy! :p

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Shattered Innocence...

Listening to: The Fray - Over my head
Feeling: Sad cause my sunnies are missing...

Alright, since we're on the topic anyway, let me tell you a short story about how a friend of mine got 'robbed' by a traffic police...

This happened years back, about 6 years back... meaning we all just got our driving license la and also before hands-free kit were not as popular. So, here we go...

Marcus was my friend Tania's then boyfriend. When he got stopped by the traffic police, he was on the handphone... *seems that being on the handphone is by far the most common offence* The usual 'friendly' banter went on and in the end, Marcus decided to just bribe him because the officer kept telling him that he's gotta pay the fine in some god forsaken place.

When Marcus told him he only had RM10, the police officer actually had the gall to look through his wallet! True enough, there was only RM10 in his wallet (you know la, students mar!!!) and there was a RM50 voucher for drinks in Bali. (remember the once happening club in Sunway area?) The officer passed the wallet back to Marcus and asked him to fold the note into a small square, slip it under his driver's license and pass the license back to him. (that's how the exchange usually goes, I am told)

The officer took his license and slipped the money into his folder and passed the license back to Marcus. Then the officer peeped into his folder and said...

Officer: Eh, tadi itu voucher untuk apa ya?
*What was that voucher for?*

Marcus: Itu untuk minuman di Kelab Bali. RM50 untuk minuman..
*That voucher's for drinks in Bali Club worth RM50*

Officer: Tengok apa lagi? Bagi la.
*What are you waiting for? Pass it to me!*

I can tell you that it's a WTF moment for Marcus... Isn't that daylight robbery? First you took my wallet and rummaged through it to check if I hid cash into compartments... Now you even want a freaking drinks voucher for Bali Club? In the first place, you're a Muslim and you can't even consume alcohol! Oh man... when he told us about the whole incident, we kept quiet for a bit because we didn't know how to react to that...

We were young at that time but that story totally shattered our innocent view of this city called KL.

When we were younger, I can hear my classmates saying 'I want be policeman'. OK la... this was when we were in primary school but you know, my point is that we used to look up to these people who we are now bitching about... Sigh... Where is the love man...

First world facilities, third world mentality... I'm starting to half believe that...

'Menjaga keselamatan anda'

Listening to: Justin Timberlake - My Love
Feeling: Sleepy

So I was working late yesterday, (BTW, what's new?) got home at bout ten-ish (OK, it was kinda early compared to the last few days) and decided that I am in need of a night cap. So after having dinner, drove out to meet G at our usual smoking corner near her house.

Nearing her place, I turned a corner at a traffic light and bam ran smack into a roadblock. It's kinda common this whole month.. you know... because of the upcoming Raya season. Usually the coppers will wave me pass, cause I'm a good lil girl with her seatbelts on and handphone on handsfree mode. But today, they waved me to the side...

Me: FUCK! My license's expired!

The moment of realization came too late because my efficient officer is already tapping on my dirty smog stained window asking for my IC and driver's license. Hoping that they'll scan through my IC and let me off, well because I obviously didn't do anything wrong (except for not renewing my license), I smiled sweetly and waited patiently for him to let me go. Mr.Officer peered into my car and saw me grinning like an idiot and asked me for my extension slip for my drivers. I mock shuffled through my belongings and declared that I left it in my other purse. As expected (if you're Malaysian) came the usual conversation after discovering you've violated a traffic rule...

Me: Sorry la Encik, saya pertama kali pernah di stop polis. Boleh bagi chance tak?
Sorry sir, this is my first time being stopped by the police, can you give me a chance?

Mr.Officer: Tak boleh la dik, ini macam tak baik. Kenapa tak bawa keluar? Bahaya tau... Tapi, macam ini mungkin boleh settle la... Macam mana nak settle? I mungkin boleh tolong la.
I can't do that. It's not good (WTF? NOT GOOD TO GIVE CHANCE BUT ALRIGHT TO FUCKING BRIBE YOU? TIUUUZZZZ) How can you not bring your license out? I can help you settle though... How do you want to settle this?

This 'friendly' banter went on for a bit until...

Me: Encik, dompet saya hanya ada lima ringgit. Boleh settle ker? Kalau tak boleh, samam saja la.
Sir, I've only got 5 bucks in my wallet. Can settle? If not just fine me.

Mr. O: Bagi saya check dengan superior saya dulu la
Let me check with my superior first...

He walks off to talk to this other guy who talking to the car in front of mine. And he came back with the officer..

Mr.Superior: You pertama kali kena saman ker? Mari, saya bagi saman kamu yang pertama
Is this the first time you got fined? Come, let me issue you your virgin fine.

Me: WTF? *gets out of the car to sign the summon slip*

Me: Encik, kenapa kebelakangan ini banyak roadblock ha?
Sir, why are there so many roadblocks nowadays?

Mr.S: Di musim perayaan ini, ada banyak kes-kes ragut. Oleh itu, roadblock ini adalah untuk menjaga keselamatan kamu
This festive season, there is an increase in the crime rates. So we have more roadblocks to keep you safe.

Me: *Jaw drops, silence ensues* WTFWTFWTF?

What the fuck dudes... That was the funniest shit I heard the whole week! Increase in crime rates so have more roadblocks? I wanted to laugh my ass off because all I could think of at that time was, the only robbers are the cops. Please, the only reason why they have more roadblock is because they want to find fault with us so they can get us to bribe them!

In the first place, this whole 'settle' thing shouldn't even happen. When they see my expired license, they should just issue me a fine, not ask me if I want to settle or not. Fuckers... bloodsuckers.

'Menjaga keselamatan anda' my ass! I am even more scared when they are around because they commit daylight robbery. All in the name of justice....

Justice my foot! Damnit... gotta renew my license.

Guys, take it from me. From now till Raya is over, it's gonna be a bitch so renew your license, don't talk on your mobile and fasten your seatbelts, because they might just want to 'Menjaga keselamatan anda'.

I so can't get over it!!!! Ugh!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Too Hot!!!

Listening to: M2M - Why
Feeling: I wanna fall in love.. hahahha

My latest lust object is this HAWTTTT Korean by the name of Lee Dong Wook.

Watch Kdrama 'My Girl' to fully understand...

Sigh.... I wish I am styling him....

Friday, October 06, 2006

Embarrassment of the day

Listening to: Maaya Sakamoto - Loop
Feeling: TGIF

So I was out loaning from One Utama today. It's not a particularly stressful day. Apart from the haze, it's Friday and I am happy. Need to pick up stuff from two shops that are next to each other (which makes my job much easier) and then it's back to the office I go. The fact that my boss left the office for an appointment makes this Friday much sweeter.

So ladida.. I walked into the shop. This shop had always been kinda difficult for me because they have always been so meticulous about things but somehow I have broken through that icy I-am-the-guardian-of-the-shop-don't-fuck-with-me air and they had always been friendly with me.

I've not seen the sales assistant for a few months prior to today. When I walked in I saw one of the girls and it's either she gained like a lot of weight or she is pregnant. Now I do not have anything against fat people (DUH. If I do then it's like I have something against myself right?) but I was looking hard at her belly while talking to her because I was wondering what are the chances of her NOT being pregnant. She was always slim and it does really look as though she was pregnant.

Here's what happened...

Me: Wow... Like long time no see *stares at her stomach*

She: *Looks at her stomach* Ya lah.. Long time no see... How are you?

Me: *Still staring at her stomach* I am great! *still wondering if I should ask if she's pregnant* So... Are you.....

She: Huh? Am I?

This is a classic moment. It's like how you are shitting and there is a piece of shit stuck between your exit hole and the toilet bowl. Yeap... I was stuck between the shithole (my mouth) and the toilet bowl (and that will definitely hit the fan) I knew she was not preggers by then because of her reaction towards my question... OK, here it goes...

Me: Are you pregnant or something?

She: No... *Now that's what I call a pregnant pause* I just gained a lot of weight la...


I was so fucking embarrassed! If someone were to ask me if I were pregnant I would have prolly pulled his/her tongue out and BBQ it and then feed it to the dogs. I wanted to the shop to swallow me up and spit me out. I wanted to DIE...

So I bid my hasty goodbye and mumbled some lame apology/excuse... And nearly ran off, in the process nearly toppling a mannequin.

Everyone now say it with me...

Gimme an E

Gimme an M

Gimme a B

Gimme an A

Gimme an R

Gimme an R

Gimme an A

Gimme an S

Gimme an S

Gimme an M

Gimme an E

Gimme an N

Gimme an T

I'll go wither and die now...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Joke of the day

Listening to: Kelis - Millionaire
Feeling: Sad cause my guppies died

My brother was involved in a three car bumper to bumper two days back in BU11 housing area. The first driver was a lady (my lovely brother said it was not a surprise) who braked suddenly, second car couldn't stop and bumped her back and needless to say, my brother was the last one to hit. Dad's car was fine. No scratch even but I think the middle car was pretty badly done in.

Naturally, everyone wanted to claim insurance and off they went to the police station to make a report. When the police questioned the lady driver why she braked so suddenly, the lady replied.... *drumroll please..*

"I thought saw a cow that's why I braked"

*let's end this story with a round of applause please!*

P/S: The only cow around was driving in the car at that time.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ichi wa Zen, Zen wa Ichi

Listening to: Maaya Sakamoto - Loop
Feeling: Down

Loosely translated, the above title means, 'One is all and all is one". I've gotten this quote from Full Metal Alchemist actually and I thought it was really meaningful.

The Elric brothers were dumped on a deserted island to fend for themselves for a month while trying to figure out the meaning to that so that they can train alchemy under Izumi (episode 28). If you care to read, the below conversation transcended before they came upon the answer...

Ed: We talked about what would happen if we died, right?

Al: Yeah, I said that everyone would be sad

Ed: That's a personal perspective. From a more practical perspective, even if I die the world will continue to rotate as though nothing has happened.

Al: A very small existence, right?

Ed: Well, if this small existence of mine dies, then the body is left behind. We're destined to be broken down by bacteria and to become nutrients for plants. But, those plants will nourish herbivores, and those herbivores will nourish carnivores... It is all progressing naturally, on a subconscious level.

A large flow that isn't visible to the naked eye, I don't know if you call that the universe or the world, but Al and I are both only a small existence within that large flow.

Each one is part of the whole, but it is the cumulation of each one that makes the whole. This world is unknowingly flowing by and obeying a great law.

The answer to 'Ichi wa Zen, Zen wa Ichi' that they came upon was:-

"Zen wa sekai, Ichi wa ore"

Meaning 'All is the World and I am just one" (not the age, idiot!)

While the outcome of the answer still baffles me, I am actually very much intrigued by the conversation that came before the answer. It's true, we human are so involved in ourselves that we do not even see what happens around us. All we think of is 'Me, Me and Me'.

Something fucks up in the office and you think, 'Shit, I am such a loser, this is the end of the road,' and shit like that. Your boss yells at you and you think you're the saddest person in the whole wide world, no one can be more unlucky than you are and stuff like that. It is only human nature. We are a 'Me' person.

Many things had been going through my mind lately. Mainly about 'me' and 'Ichi wa Zen, Zen wa Ichi' came to mind after having a long conversation with G today about some problems I had recently. I realized that I had been thinking about 'me' so much that I didn't really had so much of a thought of my parents or the people around me. Think about it this way, we are all intertwined circles. Everyone's got their problems, what makes yours any more bigger than theirs?

Most of us knows that for a fact, but sometimes when we indulge in our own miseries, we tend to forget or lose track of the problem itself and the problem blows out of proportions. My problems are bigger than yours, I would think. Or, what would YOU know? My problems are so complicated you do not even want to start on it.

But hey you know what? A colleague of mine just lost her mom, her one and only parent because her dad passed on a few years back... And I am bitching about my brother being stupid.

"A large flow that isn't visible to the naked eye, I don't know if you call that the universe or the world, but we are only a small existence within that large flow."

If I were in my colleague's shoes, my world would have stopped spinning by now. But the world is still spinning for me, because I am not that colleague... But even if something like that were to happen to me, the world will still continue its orbit. Not stopping even once to allow you to catch your breathe; how's that for life?

I feel as though I am losing perspective in life and I am indeed feeling more than a little jaded. Like that Avril Lavigne song, I am losing grip. Sometimes I wish that I don't fret as much because things will eventually straighten out. Hey, life so goes on. Cruel ain't it? That's my personal perspective of my life now, but in practical perspective, I am just that tiny dot on Google Earth that is insignificant to the rest of the world who don't know me. And I am trying to deal with that... After all, I am just one of the circles that is intertwined with a dozen or so others....

There are times when I am driving or going about doing my daily chores when I suddenly think I've finally understood the meaning of 'Ichi wa Zen, Zen wa Ichi' but as quickly as the realization came, it's gone. Still elusive, I guess this is one thing that will remain a question to me until the end of time.

Post Script: I was reading through this before I posted and I didn't really get what I was trying to say as well, oh well... I am trying to zoom out of my life that's it!