Friday, October 06, 2006

Embarrassment of the day

Listening to: Maaya Sakamoto - Loop
Feeling: TGIF

So I was out loaning from One Utama today. It's not a particularly stressful day. Apart from the haze, it's Friday and I am happy. Need to pick up stuff from two shops that are next to each other (which makes my job much easier) and then it's back to the office I go. The fact that my boss left the office for an appointment makes this Friday much sweeter.

So ladida.. I walked into the shop. This shop had always been kinda difficult for me because they have always been so meticulous about things but somehow I have broken through that icy I-am-the-guardian-of-the-shop-don't-fuck-with-me air and they had always been friendly with me.

I've not seen the sales assistant for a few months prior to today. When I walked in I saw one of the girls and it's either she gained like a lot of weight or she is pregnant. Now I do not have anything against fat people (DUH. If I do then it's like I have something against myself right?) but I was looking hard at her belly while talking to her because I was wondering what are the chances of her NOT being pregnant. She was always slim and it does really look as though she was pregnant.

Here's what happened...

Me: Wow... Like long time no see *stares at her stomach*

She: *Looks at her stomach* Ya lah.. Long time no see... How are you?

Me: *Still staring at her stomach* I am great! *still wondering if I should ask if she's pregnant* So... Are you.....

She: Huh? Am I?

This is a classic moment. It's like how you are shitting and there is a piece of shit stuck between your exit hole and the toilet bowl. Yeap... I was stuck between the shithole (my mouth) and the toilet bowl (and that will definitely hit the fan) I knew she was not preggers by then because of her reaction towards my question... OK, here it goes...

Me: Are you pregnant or something?

She: No... *Now that's what I call a pregnant pause* I just gained a lot of weight la...


I was so fucking embarrassed! If someone were to ask me if I were pregnant I would have prolly pulled his/her tongue out and BBQ it and then feed it to the dogs. I wanted to the shop to swallow me up and spit me out. I wanted to DIE...

So I bid my hasty goodbye and mumbled some lame apology/excuse... And nearly ran off, in the process nearly toppling a mannequin.

Everyone now say it with me...

Gimme an E

Gimme an M

Gimme a B

Gimme an A

Gimme an R

Gimme an R

Gimme an A

Gimme an S

Gimme an S

Gimme an M

Gimme an E

Gimme an N

Gimme an T

I'll go wither and die now...


amylmeiwei said...

Hahahahahahhaa... I think she hates u to the max now, hahahhahaahhaha...

Pinkity said...

Thanks for reminding me T.T

So scared that she will purposely tear a dress just to kena me... hahaha

boo_licious said...

Ooops! Never mind, just avoid her for life now and if you see anyone put on weight, just say, "My, you look very prosperous".

amylmeiwei said...

but the word "prosperous" is somehow "offending", lolz