Embarrassment of the day

Listening to: Maaya Sakamoto - Loop
Feeling: TGIF

So I was out loaning from One Utama today. It's not a particularly stressful day. Apart from the haze, it's Friday and I am happy. Need to pick up stuff from two shops that are next to each other (which makes my job much easier) and then it's back to the office I go. The fact that my boss left the office for an appointment makes this Friday much sweeter.

So ladida.. I walked into the shop. This shop had always been kinda difficult for me because they have always been so meticulous about things but somehow I have broken through that icy I-am-the-guardian-of-the-shop-don't-fuck-with-me air and they had always been friendly with me.

I've not seen the sales assistant for a few months prior to today. When I walked in I saw one of the girls and it's either she gained like a lot of weight or she is pregnant. Now I do not have anything against fat people (DUH. If I do then it's like I have something against myself right?) but I was looking hard at her belly while talking to her because I was wondering what are the chances of her NOT being pregnant. She was always slim and it does really look as though she was pregnant.

Here's what happened...

Me: Wow... Like long time no see *stares at her stomach*

She: *Looks at her stomach* Ya lah.. Long time no see... How are you?

Me: *Still staring at her stomach* I am great! *still wondering if I should ask if she's pregnant* So... Are you.....

She: Huh? Am I?

This is a classic moment. It's like how you are shitting and there is a piece of shit stuck between your exit hole and the toilet bowl. Yeap... I was stuck between the shithole (my mouth) and the toilet bowl (and that will definitely hit the fan) I knew she was not preggers by then because of her reaction towards my question... OK, here it goes...

Me: Are you pregnant or something?

She: No... *Now that's what I call a pregnant pause* I just gained a lot of weight la...

OMFGGGGGGG!!!!111oneoneone

I was so fucking embarrassed! If someone were to ask me if I were pregnant I would have prolly pulled his/her tongue out and BBQ it and then feed it to the dogs. I wanted to the shop to swallow me up and spit me out. I wanted to DIE...

So I bid my hasty goodbye and mumbled some lame apology/excuse... And nearly ran off, in the process nearly toppling a mannequin.

Everyone now say it with me...

Gimme an E

Gimme an M

Gimme a B

Gimme an A

Gimme an R

Gimme an R

Gimme an A

Gimme an S

Gimme an S

Gimme an M

Gimme an E

Gimme an N

Gimme an T

I'll go wither and die now...