Thursday, May 26, 2005

Feels like....

Listening to: DeLovely Soundtrack
Feeling: Blank

Another year older.

Hey.. It feels the same.

Realization hit me yesterday right after I had my first Flaming Lamborgini at the stroke of 12. But you know what? It feels great. And I intend to feel the same for the next ten years.

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Birthday Story - The Day

Listening to: Ryan Caberra - True
Feeling: Amused

Am feeling amused with the amount of drama and fun that surrounded me and Gem's birthday. Me, Gem (of course), Sarah. Nie and Ndrew went for dinner at 'Shall we meet' in SS2 and we were so loud there, as usual, that the patrons sitting in the smoking section of the restaurant (which was outside, behind a glass door) felt obliged to send us a birthday wish.

Waiter: Miss, that Sir over there send you his birthday wish. *points*

Us: Uh... *looks around* which one?

Waiter: That one *points at this guy that looks like a thug or possibly a yakuza*

Me: *thinks* OMFG, they're coming to kill us! Sorry for making so much noise!!!

*says* Why, thank you! *waves and smiles at that guy while telling Sarah, that the guy must be from the yakuza*

Well, actually it didn't happen that way. The guy looked decent. Maybe he was just amused at the way we were being such camera hoes. Hehe.. It was just funny. Well, we did make a big mess with the cake and took loads of pictures. (above) *more at* Then we left the restaurant and headed for Central Perk. Had our usual drinks, still in high spirits. Had too much food and felt that we should burn some of the calories we had gained *courtesy of dinner and cake* by laughing. Very hard. And talking. Really loudly. Took more pictures, the camera hoes that we are.

And what do you know... before we could even say, I am so freaking full, Gem's dad drove by and passed us a sinfully delish Cheesecake! That makes two cakes in one day. And before you could say, cake is bad, we started digging into the cake. And man.. was it delicious or what. I think I gained 5 kgs that day. 2.5 kg from the food and 2.5 kg from the air that we sucked in because we laughed too much. Guess I would need to get the vacumn cleaner into my room that night. *private joke, hehe*

All in all, one of the best birthdays I had ever had. Only wished the people who weren't around was there. Wished that Speed Dial would be there, Arihito and Cow too. Arihito and Cow totally forgot. But Arihito apologized and he's a sweetie. Cow is just.... a Cow. Heh.. Best ever. Wish there will be more birthdays like these :p


2 Birthday girls. Me and Gem

1 Picky eater, Sarah

1 Conjoined Twins. Ndrew and Nie. Maybe should call them NdreNie. Heheh

1 Superglam supermodel. Gigi *who downplayed her glam so not to outshine the birthday girls :p thanks u Gigi*

Muahz to you all who had made this day one of the best

Pinks 2005, 23 and counting

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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Birthday Story - The Eve

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Mood: Reminising
Listening to: Ken Hirai - Life is

Finally I found a way to multi photo blog, *thanks Joe* and so I am posting all these skanky pictures that I've took with me phone. It was my 23rd birthday, at The Curve's Colonial Times. A beautiful place great food, great ambiance and of course, the great company. To those who was there, thanks really really much! I loved the Flaming you guys got me, the cigar was wonderful as well, *special skanky services for skanky girls like us*


3 skanky ones (1 in the US of A, greatly missed) Joe, Tania and me
1 wonderful friend. The best any girl could ever wish for; Nic
1 ninja. The best any girl could ever wish for her birthday; Yews
2 guys I thought couldn't make it, but came! Aizat and Marz, you guys the best!
2 guys who came all the way from work, tru the rain and jam; Adrian and Eugene, you know you made my day
1 stripper. Well, not really. 1 surprise!!! All the way from Canada! You're wonderful!!

Wish I had more pictures to remember this day but unfortunately, my dear Nic *nic, if you're reading this, do remember =_=;* has not sent me more piccies. :p

But, with or without pictures, that whole night is forever embedded in my heart.

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Reflecting on Life

Wonder Years
Candid snapshots by Pinkity
Was looking through my photo album on Monday and found some pictures that made me feel so god damned old. Looking at these pictures it reminded me when life was simple and fights with classmates were forgetten almost as soon as they started. A simple sorry meant so much and people saying that word actually meant it. Now, I whenever I say the word 'sorry', I really wonder if I actually meant it.
Keep thinking about things like these, wondering if it was because I am turning 23 soon and I hope it is not too late to start reflecting on life...

Collage Daze

Halloween 2002
Pictures courtesy of Nicholle

Monday, May 23, 2005

Random Thoughts at Random Hours

Suddenly have an urge to jot down all random thought I have at this ungodly hour of 6.16 pm in my office which is getting darker by the minute. It is gonna rain, I hear thunder.. Was supposed to do work... But what the hell...

If I am so forgetful, why can't I forget certain things I WANT to forget?

I feel shitty whenever I think of this. I know I am super forgetful.. If there is one thing I want to forget, it'll be about Speed Dial. But what the fark...

If being happy with yourself makes you happy, why are others not happy for you?

I was thinking, why do people dictate and tell you what to do with yourself? I was doing my promotional work for Seventeen last weekend and this lady told me that I am beautiful, but if only I lose some weight, I'd be prettier. Where did the little birdy who told me to be happy with what you are because that is what you are go?

If being cheerful is good, why did people say that I am ditzy and stupid?

I had been told twice that I am ditzy (or slightly blonde) twice in my 3 years at work. Now I know for a fact that I am not and most prolly am more intellectual and deep than people who had said these words and I am thinking why in the freaking world did they think so? Seems that it boiled down to the fact that I am always chipper and cheery and running around with a smile on my face. Oh hell, if they think that I am ditzy because of that, they are so dead wrong. Shits to be you when I am up up there and laughing at THEM. Heh...It kinda bothers me because I love being happy and people say that about you. Sorry to see them being to shallow. God help them.

If I am happy, why am I feeling so damn sad?

This is like one of the biggest contradiction that I have in life. I love being happy but somehow or other when I go home and lay on my bed, I feel sad. Maybe that is why I like going out till late. By the time I reach home, I am so dead tired that all I want to do is drop on the bed and sleep till tomorrow. Then I am out again. What's wrong with me? O.o I don't even really understand why I am feeling like this.

If we are promised that we go to Heaven when we die, why do people still fear death?

I constantly wonder why is it so that we are so afraid to die when we are told that we will be carted off to Heaven as long as we do good? Being a Buddhist, it is known that we will be washed of our sins in Hell before we reach Nirvana. Gem tells me that Catholics go through Purgotary (think that's the right spelling for it) before you go to Heaven and Christians generally go to Heaven right after they die unless they have sinned so bad they go to Hell. But then again, why are we still doing bad stuff

Just some random crappy thoughts that ran tru my head throughout the whole week and had to time to type them down.

The Silver Ring of Promise

Listening to: Peter Pan - Mungkin Nanti

Being in love requires loads of strengh and courage, I realized after listening to Fish Leong's 'Yung Chi'. There are times when I would think, why even bother? It is so hard to love, and even harder because it is a one sided one.

Had a talk on this yesterday night. My girls from the mamak agrees, that loving someone is painfully happy. It's like you wanna cry, and also wanna laugh. You want the best for him even though the best makes you cry. You want him to be with you and yet you want him to be away. Like how G would describe it, it is 'mau dun'. You want but you don't. Almost like you enjoy getting hurt.

So near yet so far, so far yet so near. You think of him, you laugh and then you cry. You want him but you don't want him. You try to forget him and yet you think of him. Sigh..

I have a silver ring which I call my silver ring of promises. It had been broken for about 4 years and yet I still wear it. As hard as I've tried looking for a replacement, I have no luck. I look around for it contantly, for something exactly the same but not broken so I can leave the broken one at home to keep. When will I find the replica? Maybe then, this broken ring can rest at home and my heart can heal. But till then, I will have to bear with the broken part which I keep so well hidden behind.

Hit me!


Candid snapshots by Pinkity

Recently Jay forwarded me this weirdass game that requires you to whack a guy up in the sky and t the objective of the game is to hit him as far as possible. It came with a challenge, which I took and won. The feud went on for a while and after a week or so, Jay resumed his throne as the champion. And then... one day, a really stressful day, I took a break and casually clicked on the link to whack the *imaginary* bitch queen into the sky. And guess what? I won the title back by 2000 or so metres. Hohoho.. I win I win I win!

Bite some dust Jay!

Birthday Blues

Birthday Bouquet

Listening to: Natalie Merchant - One Fine Day

My lovely colleagues got me this for my birthday (though it was a week early) and I was freaking delighted. Hehe.. It has to be freaking because this is the first time I have received anything like this. Thank god I remembered to take a picture of this because when I came back to work the next day, all the balloons were deflated. Sadness. Because the bunch was really big, I can't bring it back in my little silver baby, I snipped off one and wanted to give it to Gem but a gust of wind blew it out of my car and it flew far, far away. Oh well.. It was beautiful while it lasted.

Birthday's approaching, going out with Nic, Joe, Tania and the rest on the 25th. I think this is the first time I spent my birthday eve with them. :) Yay~

Friday, May 20, 2005

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi

I don't really listen to Indonesian songs, well, except for Kris Dayanti's but this is one of those tunes that you wanna listen to again and again. Well, this is the third post I have clocked in today. Maybe because I have done most of the things that I need to do so I am much more freer but not stress-free.

The magazine is late again this month. Like every month. Am feeling pretty much annoyed because it is because of things that I can't control. Oh, well... Can't say much because of that.

mungkin nanti - peter pan

Saatnya ku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi2mu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari semua rasa yang kau beri

Listening to: Mariah Carey - Breakdown

This is like the gazzilionth time I'm listening to this. Jiwangness set to high, today is gonna be a super jiwang day. Am getting a headache for feeling so. Gotta stop this...Gem, if you're reading this, I really think I have Dad Complex. HELPPPPP~

My Bestfriend's Wedding

Listening to: Tony Bennett - The way you look tonight

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely,
with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ...
Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

Loved this song ever since I've watched My Bestfriend's Wedding. Love Love Love it and decided that if there is one song I have to play for my wedding this would be it. It is so freaking romantic. And.. Unforgettable by Nat King Cole as well. Yay.. Yeah..

Am still feeling jiwang, it is now lunchtime, and still the feeling is still here and I feel a need to shake this feeling off, like how a dog would shake water off. *imagines and feels stupid* heh... This song is downloaded for me by Jay *bless him for The Way you Look Tonight and Drops of Jupiter* hehe..

I have not blogged for a month and I think I am coming back with a revenge. I am gonna put in a few entries a day from now on. :)

Drops of Jupiter

Feeling: Drops of Jupiter on my hair

Just another normal Friday morning, driving to work when 'Drops of Jupiter' started playing on the radio. That song has been my favourite song for as long as I remember and even till now, I get goosebumps when I listen to it. The lyrics are so whimsical yet I can relate to it. Don't ask how, I don't know too.

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey

Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey

She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s time to grow, hey, hey

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phoneConversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way

It's so super sigh... Ohwell... feeling pretty weird off these few days. Gem had been going on and on about her D and me feeling 'crushed' over Jay. Haha... Just a stupid little one but it makes days go by much easier. It's like having to take medicine and knowing that after all that bitter shit, you can have a piece of chocolate to go with it. It is like bliss. But you know that it wouldn't do anything for your health.

Listening to: Train - Drops of Jupiter
Feeling: All mushy mush

I think me and Gem spent about RM10 on SMS-es yesterday, chatting about her D and my current obssession. I think it is unhealthy, like the chocolate thing I was talking about? Yeah, unhealthy. Out of the pan into the fire. Thinking that you KNOW this relationship thingy wouldn't work makes it harder to realise the stupidity because you actually think you know when to stop. And it wouldn't stop. Being in this mess all over again is like hmmm... eating super sticky warm melted chocolate. You'd get a warm feeling in your tummy at first but after a while, you just wanna throw up and you end up feeling gross and fat. Hahah... I have been using food to describe all of my current feelings, maybe it's a sign that says lunchtime is looming.

Listening to: Mariah Carey - Breakdown

Listening to all jiwang songs today because I feel super jiwang too. I wanna be somewhere else not here yet I wanna be here. What the hell... Birthday is coming up. Starting to feel old. /sob