Monday, May 23, 2005

Random Thoughts at Random Hours

Suddenly have an urge to jot down all random thought I have at this ungodly hour of 6.16 pm in my office which is getting darker by the minute. It is gonna rain, I hear thunder.. Was supposed to do work... But what the hell...

If I am so forgetful, why can't I forget certain things I WANT to forget?

I feel shitty whenever I think of this. I know I am super forgetful.. If there is one thing I want to forget, it'll be about Speed Dial. But what the fark...

If being happy with yourself makes you happy, why are others not happy for you?

I was thinking, why do people dictate and tell you what to do with yourself? I was doing my promotional work for Seventeen last weekend and this lady told me that I am beautiful, but if only I lose some weight, I'd be prettier. Where did the little birdy who told me to be happy with what you are because that is what you are go?

If being cheerful is good, why did people say that I am ditzy and stupid?

I had been told twice that I am ditzy (or slightly blonde) twice in my 3 years at work. Now I know for a fact that I am not and most prolly am more intellectual and deep than people who had said these words and I am thinking why in the freaking world did they think so? Seems that it boiled down to the fact that I am always chipper and cheery and running around with a smile on my face. Oh hell, if they think that I am ditzy because of that, they are so dead wrong. Shits to be you when I am up up there and laughing at THEM. Heh...It kinda bothers me because I love being happy and people say that about you. Sorry to see them being to shallow. God help them.

If I am happy, why am I feeling so damn sad?

This is like one of the biggest contradiction that I have in life. I love being happy but somehow or other when I go home and lay on my bed, I feel sad. Maybe that is why I like going out till late. By the time I reach home, I am so dead tired that all I want to do is drop on the bed and sleep till tomorrow. Then I am out again. What's wrong with me? O.o I don't even really understand why I am feeling like this.

If we are promised that we go to Heaven when we die, why do people still fear death?

I constantly wonder why is it so that we are so afraid to die when we are told that we will be carted off to Heaven as long as we do good? Being a Buddhist, it is known that we will be washed of our sins in Hell before we reach Nirvana. Gem tells me that Catholics go through Purgotary (think that's the right spelling for it) before you go to Heaven and Christians generally go to Heaven right after they die unless they have sinned so bad they go to Hell. But then again, why are we still doing bad stuff

Just some random crappy thoughts that ran tru my head throughout the whole week and had to time to type them down.

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