Sunday, November 29, 2009

Back to where we have started...

Listening to: Zee Avi - First of the Gang
Feeling: Left behind

It has been almost half a year since I last blogged. It has been a whirlwind year, with the purchase of the house, change of jobs, weddings all year round, gym and Japanese classes. Though there had not been much freelance jobs, I feel I don't have much time for myself.

I have yet to welcome the arrival of Hayley, Cin and BK's second bundle of joy and the latest princess for me to dote upon. Caden is now all grown up, a natural heartbreaker, cute as a button and cool as ice. I feel so old typing this but yes, Caden is 1 year and 4 months old now. Really, time flies when you're having fun no?

I was thinking of giving up blogging (right) cause I just don't have much to write about. But really, what is life without drama right? There had been loads happening, it's just that it's just too petty to put it down in words. Nothing witty or funny happened. Until yesterday...

You see, it had been a year of weddings and reunions during the said weddings. Frankly, at the right old age of 27 (though many might disagree, thanks guys I love you too) and at the last count, nil relationships to my name, I am starting to worry.

Questions of "When was the last time did you actually feel a fluttering in your stomach when you meet someone new" arose. I mean, the last that happened was when I read Twilight and fell in love with Edward Cullen. And then when I read Matthew Reilly's Scarecrow
stories. I mean, how fucking sad is that. And on top of ALL that, I get questions from all around. People can't comprehend the singledom that I have embraced. I couldn't too at times... I feel emotionally inept. It's a little strange and hard to explain cause I can't even explain it to myself...

so after much contemplating and support, (thanks guys, you know who you are) I have finally decided to give in, to give it a try. Apparently, this one person who had once took a liking to me had waited. Hey, I have waited before and it's not something easy or pleasant. I felt bad. Extremely! But oh well, never too late. Waiter says that he waited, all alone...

so I find out yesterday that waiter had lied. It's sad. I wonder how can I trust another guy after this. Not the first time, I don't think this will be the last as well. It's not that I liked this guy to begin with. I thought, let's give this a try. But fact is, he lied. And really, I am angry at myself yet again for being so naive...

s yes, this is boring stuff... Nothing juicy but something that bothered me more than I would ever admit. While writing this post, I checked out

I'm not feeling
sorry for myself I promise but this is just too weird because this one secret sorta concludes how I feel about this whole situation that I myself don't really understand.

And here I am, back to
square one...