Saturday, October 09, 2004

The Feeling's Mutual

Well, yesterday I sorta had a spat with him. Not about anything in particular, but just that I hated his guts for thinking that whatever I had said were just jokes. Somehow he made me feel as though whatever that had transended between us was just something that happened to amuse him throughout his holidays back here.

Honestly, if that is what he think.. damnit! Can't do anything now. I only can say that I am stupid to would have actually fallen for that.

To think of it, I never really told him how I felt about the whole incident. I know I shouldn't hold on to this and make it seem as though it is something important or someone died or something, but well, I can't help it that I think about things like this whenever I'm driving or whenever I have nothing to do. I would wonder actually, what would happen if I had not confronted him about it that day. Would he still had dragged this on? Thank goodness I did confront him actually...

So yeah, yesterday I was pretty cheesed off with him and finally spilled my guts.

'It seems like everything you've said was a joke and you've never ever taken anything seriously. Have you ever thought of what other people would feel? Obviously not. Give it a thought.'

It jst flowed out of my fingers when I typed that. That was me spilling my guts out after a few months of keeping it inside me. Previously I was afraid to bring this topic out for the fear of him thinking that I am still pining over him. Suddenly I have no patience for him anymore.. and really.. the feeling's mutual. And oh~ does it feel good after sending that sms off... Like a burden taken off my shoulders.

I won't hold anything against him, now that this burden is off my shoulders. And to think back, I was the one who was thinking if I was serious in this or not.. Now I wonder if he was serious or not. If he was, the feeling's mutual. And now that it has came to this stage, yeah, the feeling's also mutual.

People make mistakes, but why make them when you already do beforehand that it would be a mistake?

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