Monday, May 01, 2006

An open letter...

Listening to: Damian Rice - Blower's Daughter
Feeling: Agitated... But must chill! Hrmmmmm

I guess what I am going to say is the same thing I've been saying for the longest time. If any of you feel it's too harsh, I think it's because it strikes a cord with you.

So me and my clique, we hang out nearly everyday. It had been so since, like 4 years? It's sort of like this understanding that we call each other out for drinks at Central Perk. It used to be me calling since only me and Nini had cars then and we will pick the rest up.

Fast forward 3 years, and G came back from Down Under and we started working, Sarah S started driving and my job requires me to work late so what we would do is meet up at Central Perk at a certain time to have drinks and dinner. That sounds a lot like a typical episode of Friends right?

Of recent, actually ever since I started working in Her World, I had never really been able (sometimes, be bothered) to call everyone out as Sarah S and Kst got together. I would usually get G to come out for a short smoke (because she stays nearest to me) or if I'm working late, I'll call Sarah S and the rest to come out for a short drink. And I have to admit, I am the most scatterbrained person you can ever find... I forget. So there are some people that I might leave out for drinks.

My gripe is this, if a friend wants to come out for drinks all this friend needs to do is give me a call... I have never said no unless I am in the middle of something or if I am working. I have taken this shit for the longest time, friends saying we don't call. Have these people ever thought that they could have called too?

Take this for example, group goes out for drinks and suddenly someone realized, 'Eh, why so and so not here ar?' and we'll be like, uhoh! Shit happens. There is no reason why we don't call people out.

And I cannot take the fact that people take it for granted that everything that I do I have to get them to come together with me. I wonder how long can I hold their hands? There are times when I just want to have a one-on-one with just one of my friends. So am I obliged to call everyone out? There are times when I want to just be alone... Is there also an obligation that I call everyone out?

Always... it is always this problem. I am just so sick and tired of this.

Gem, if you're reading this, yes I am referring to the post that you wrote about us forgetting you. Please remember of the times when we asked you out all the time and you kept saying no. We had never held anything against you and instead respected your decision to stay home. We kept asking you out then, kept asking you what's wrong and what's up only to be met with silence and denial.

Now that you're with him, you tell us that you do not spend enough time with him. So we let you be... hence not asking you out. If you're free and want to go for drinks or dinner, all you have to do is to just call us. But if I say I am not free, I am sorry because I am really not free. You have been there for me all the time and I will try to do the same for you. But if I cannot fulfill this, it is because of work.

Do not expect me to put friends in front of work, because I'm at the point where I really need try my hardest to make it in my chosen career path. But just to let you know that I will drop anything I have in my hands if you have an emergency to be beside you. That's what friends are for. And all I ask from your part is just to be a little more understanding and pro-active. You want us to hear you out but if you don't take what we have to say to you what's the point of us advising you anyway?

And in times like that I feel that you don't need us to be there to give you advice but you just want us to hear you talk. I have been frustrated at this for the longest time, I think you should know from the reaction I gave you the last time.

Reading your post made me see streaks of selfishness and words without thought, if you want to put it into that way let me remind you of the time you holed yourself up. We did not even once think you have abandoned us, so just because we didn't call you out for drinks once or twice you think we had abandoned you? Think about it...


Anonymous said...

i have to agree with u on that. i just feel like we're always the one asking people out, planning things out, arranging things for them like their mother? come on....i mean can it not be a time where people do not take things for granted and have the initiative to be the one doing the asking and planning.
Gem, seriously do you not remember the time u hid urself out and not bother coming out with us everytime we ask u to? do you not remember how we ask what's wrong and u just ignore us and give us the cold shoulders. do u not remember how u threw ur moodiness at us? and when u started having a relationship and became all happy u started to come out with us and still we just accepted u back in with open arms. we have never hold whatever u did against you.
you should know by now that whatever it is we will always be by ur side. anytime you need us we'll be there. but sometimes you have to understand that not everything revolves around you. there's only so much we can do....we have never deserted you, we have never intentionally not ask u out for drinks and we have done all we can as a friend. please do think about it....

dramaQUEEN said...

you go girl!

word verification... kkxslhwt

Lrong said...

Interesting episode here on relationships... anyway, it is great to have a clique to hang out often...