Monday, August 09, 2004

The Good, Bad and The Ugly

The Good - I am Single AGAIN
The Bad - I sorta got Dumped and Cheated
The Ugly - We are Still Friends

The Explaination -

For the god damned 3rd time, I am typing this out. Everytime I wanna post this up, something happens. Ugh...

okok.. Short and sweet this is gonna be. Me and Moo no more. Yes we are still friends. Why? Oh well, maybe cuz I am jst stupid.

It happened that I felt that 3 weeks down into the relationship, he doesn't exactly treat me as like he did when we first went out together... So one day I just asked him 'Why you like me, why me and why now, after all those years that you have known me.'

I told him to answer me honestly and I have already sorta knew wht his answer will be. When he replied me that 'The love for you got less' I was like 'Ohhkay..' So I guess, I told him that if that is how he feels then we should just end it here, before this feeling gets deeper for me.

Maybe it was a sigh of relief on his side, I do not know. But I guess it should be something like that for him, because there was no signs of regret or any signs that he was feeling sorry or anything.

He kept asking me if I was angry at him, or if I hate him. My stupid pride, got in the way, I answered him that I was not angry nor do I hate him. I was thinking, if I was not feeling so sad, I would have felt the anger. I would have told him that too... If I wanted him to pity me. But, I do not want anyone to pity me. Funny that I pity myself.

In a way, I got cheated. Of my feelings. If he, in the first place, was unsure of his feelings, he should have kept his feelings to himself. Now that I have allowed myself to feel for him, my feelings grew.

I do like him. When we went out, I do like the feeling of walking with him. Maybe like wht Gem told me, I just liked the feeling of having someone with me, as someone who was more than a friend. I am not sure... Think after one week, I would not feel so bad. But I think this rejection thing has gotten much worse and I am feeling depressed. First, rejection in workplace. As though that was not bad enough, this totally unneccesary rejection have to happen.

Oh well, at least I have friends who love me. So, moral of the story is,
Do Not Love Your Friend. Do Not Say That Yi Hwa Have Not Warned You....

P/S: Where IS my happy Ending?

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