Something to be saved for that someone special..

***Listening to Maria Mena 'You re the only one'***


Woah.. it's Friday and.. another week. I am now counting days till I have to leave the company. Another 7 more weeks before I really need to leave. It is pretty hard, because people here are actually pretty nice and all.. *but then again.. maybe just on the surface*

This is one week I feel totally disorientated, blurred and totally crazy. I learnt that someone could just take something away from you just like that if they want to.. it only depends if they want to or not.. That is why I think The Art of Butt Kissing should be included in college. hah~

Also learnt that the 'first' in everything should be saved for that someone important. Maybe it's just me.. Maybe I'm just shy (or stupid) and I can't bring myself to do something like that.. I thought, maybe at that time, that situation, I would.. but, I proved myself wrong.. I'm not sure if I should be happy o sad. hahah...

Sigh.. who should I save these things for? For a fact, the person I consider my someone special would not BE my someone special.. It's ok, not that I wanna force it, but I'm just wondering, how long more till I can actually let go.. It is really hard.. to cling on to something that doesn't even actually exist. It's like I'm over the edge of a cliff and I am just hanging there, holding on to a piece of root jutting out from the side of the cliff.. I do not want to feel that way!!! I refuse to and I do not want to.. but why am I still holding on to this?

Am I saving myself for that one person who I thought existed?