Friday, July 28, 2006

Single & Fabulous! vs Single & Fabulous?

It's Thursday night and I home by 7.30pm *gasp* feeling rather bored with nothing to do cause the girls were busy with whatever they are doing. So I decided to watch this really bad Korean show, The Wig.

I felt so depressed cause it was so bad so I decided to re-watch a few episodes of Sex and the City season 2. And there was this episode 'Single & Fabulous and I thought... 'Great! Something that I should be watching!' and watched on. Boy was I wrong to watch that episode.

First, let me define MY version of being single and fabulous. In my honest opinion, single, independent modern working girls should NOT be intimidated by the fact that we are single. It's a celebration of independence, not having to be with a man to feel happy. There is a very fine line to being a single and fabulous girl and a single and bitter girl. Knowing that you will be one day married or attached is the thin line that separates the normal and man-haters.

Carrie Bradshaw's definition was about the same; being single and fabulous girl about town is nothing to cry or moan about.

But as the episode went on, I came to realize that sometimes we tend to fake the happiness that we single and fabulous ladies claim to have simply because we, the fantastic Single and Fabulous ladies initially claim to enjoy our single status and I for one do NOT want to be the first one to admit that it gets lonely sometimes.

For the past few months, I realized that we girls do not spend as much time as we used to simply because Gem had her footie break with XBF, Sarah N and Kst is stuck to the hip and they were both busy with work as well, G had her cousins down from all over the world, Jay and Fun just got together so I guess they needed their together time. Not only that Kay is also attached, Arihito is MIA, Nini and I rarely meet up anymore *I need a break from her* and everyone else that I know I don't usually hang with.

It is times like this that makes you stop that 5th episode of CSI you had been watching in a row and wonder, 'Hey, it's Friday today. Why the hell am I home?" . These are the times when you feel that indent on your bed made by your ass and think, 'It's time to go out'.

This is not about friends abandoning anyone. It's just me wondering if it's time to get serious about this whole 'soulmate' thing.

The fact is, I had not had a serious romantic relationship in my 24 years of live and sometimes when I see friends who are happily dating with their cute little squabbles and starry eyes, I wonder how it is to be in a relationship? I've watched my share of Korean soap to be a romantic and also enough American soap to make me a cynic. What a balance, I know but how can I comment on something I have not experienced before?

Somehow I can't help but to wonder if I will end up at G's or Gem's baby full moon party with a ciggie on my right hand and a glass of wine (or beer, depending on their budget) getting a little high, alone and I see Sarah N Jr and Kst Jr running around in their cute jumpers while Nini walks table to table with her new man.

Sometimes, being with my attached friends make me feel as though I am not part of the group simply because I see them as different... It alienates me for a reason. While I was thinking of that, Carrie Bradshaw said it out loud for me. "Is being single the modern equivalent to being a leper?"

Being single automatically puts you in the same category as being a freaky fat ugly person with the wit of a three toed sloth or people might just perceive you as being a lesbian. Being single is suddenly the uncool thing. Or is it? I couldn't help but to think that sometimes. It disturbs me that some people judge by looking at your marital status. But it happens. It happens everywhere all the freaking time.

It strikes me as unfair as well, because bachelors are allowed to have such a jolly good time; swinging past their forties in flashy cars with no commitment sex and spinsters are doomed to stay in their spinster house bought with their hard earned money that they have painstakingly saved throughout their lonely and boring life. Of course there is also this stigma that spinsters has a dozen or two tabby cats as companion and knitting some sock or baby hat for their friend's grandchildren or their grand-nephews. Why can't I be a forty something spinster with champagne flute in one hand and a cigar on the other?

Then it struck me; being unattached is not about what people think about you. It is all about how you perceive yourself. If you think you're comfortable with being Single and Fab till you find someone you think compatible (That's just because we're being choosy) do it. But if you think otherwise, do something about it, like maybe go on a dating website or something.

It gets lonely, no doubt but at the end of the day I guess all you need is some faith in yourself that you will one day find happiness too. And happiness comes in so many forms; being able to do what you really like. Hanging out till 6 in the morning if you want to. Smoke and drink all you want (OK, that's bad! I'm not advocating this!). Watching that sappy movie on repeat, things like that. Not that I am saying this just because I am fabulously single and obviously fantastic... I'm saying this because I know no matter what happens, single or attached, no one will ever love you more than yourself! Agree?

Till then, I shall be at home (it's a great change, really) working on ways to love myself more.

I am so fucking-fantabulous for figuring this whole thing out! And definitely single... peace.

The above few hundred words are honest thoughts from the writer and there is absolutely no need for anyone to follow the writer's way of life


*gol & gincu the official blog page* said...

breathe in. breathe out.
i just love advertising my blog everywhere! hahahaha

ms3h0n said...

single and fabulous?

what a post.

its not a crime nor a sin to be single and still feel fabulous. its jst tht the world was created so that everyone had someone.

even bachelors get lonely some times (trust me on this - i've done my research).

its doesnt matter if your partner is jst a companion/partner/soulmate/bf&gf/husband&wife. lonely is a feeling no one can avoid. hence the scenario of an old spinster with her cats and knittings *sniggers* at least she has her cats.

i do agree with you tht times have changed and women these days are vry independent and seem like we dont need no men but no matter how we try to ignore the facts, women will always been the weaker sex when it comes to emotions.

but before you love anyone, you have to love yourself 1st. another true fact thy you've pointed out *pat on your back*

btw, i will still go yumcha and somehow make things work between XBF and you guys (like last nite's yumcha session). as you should know by now, friends come 1st but if i can kill 2 birds with 1 stone, why not? *grins* even when i was still with XBF, i still went out with you guys more often than him. most of the time, i jst malas to go out. hahahaha... sue me! :P

Pinkity said...

It's alright if you don't wanna come out for drinks sometimes. Like I said, this post is all about me, me being able to feel Single & Fabulous! versus Single & Fabulous? *sighs*

It just kinda hit me cause I was too darn bored~ hahahah

shervoux said...

*ahem* *knock knock*

shervoux said...

*ahem* *knock knock*

shervoux said...

*ahem* *knock knock*

Pinkity said...

Honey, I got you the first time! No need to triple it to make your point. It only makes you look desperate! Wahahahahha

Ang Gu Gu said...

jajaja..i also single and cute plus adorable and inresistable and also fabulous!!

Typical swedish said...

Interesting post, and quite a big question to which there is probably no easy answer. I think nobody wants to be single all the time but maybe some of the time.
However it's a true challenge to be fully committed to another person. Is it even possible? Maybe there's some alternative out there that if one is lucky can be shared by two people.

Pinkity said...


Ang Gu Gu - If you're what you claim to be, please allow the single and fabulous girls to check you out. Send a 4R sized full lenght picture, topless preferred! Just kidding!!!!

Typical Swedish - That's true, it's a big question with prolly no answer because it is so subjective. The challenge is not about staying commited but more like staying interested. Loads of people break up because they are bored of each other! :p

ms3h0n said...

i support u 100% Pink. Ang Gu Gu should do as you mentioned. muahahaha...

Typical Swedish.. lurve your entry on typical swedish delish lunch. made my mouth water even tho i JST had lunch. Pink, you should check him (erm... i mean... the post) out.

Pinkity said...

I've already checked him, I mean, his blog out Gem... AHahahahahha