Listening to: Penny Tai - Travel
Feeling: I Should be Sleeping
A little debate in the afternoon jogged my memories. I have bad memory to begin with. Maybe that is why I am keen on keeping this blog. Most of the things I've written, I look back and think, 'Eh, I wrote this before er?' So anywayz, back to 'jogged my memory'.
In a conversation with the gang at Central Perk and it went something like this: - (not 100% accurate. Remember the problem with my memory?)
Nini: You know, I would definitely ask my new boyfriend about his past girlfriends. I mean, who won't want to ask? BUT, the thing is I won't want him to tell me the truth.
Me: What? But why? I mean, if you don't want to know why ask? Just shut up la!!
Nini: But, you know la.. Girls will sure want to ask wan loe.
Me: ...... No, if I don't want to know, I won't ask. Why want to hurt myself? Stupid right? And I hate it when people lie to me. Like asking them to purposely lie only. A bit dumb right?
Nini: I dunno, I will definitely ask. And I'll pray that he will lie to me..
Me: *WTF?!?!? This is like harder to solve than the Bermuda Triangle man...* Err... Whatever you like la.
Well, don't ask me. Even I don't freaking know what a freaking women wants. And I am THE FREAKING WOMEN! It freaks me out sometimes. I still wonder periodically if I'm a women.
On being honest, I like to be honest. And people to be honest to me.
I mean, don't tell me you'll call an obese lady thin?
Perfect example was when I went shopping for my stupid cocktail dress. I was at One Utama's Blook and was browsing around for something chic and cheap. Unfortunately, my inability to squeeze into anything smaller than an XL caused me disappointment. So I was just walking around waiting for G to come out from the fitting room when the sales lady, whom I think had ZERO sales that day, stalked up upon me.
Saleslady: Hi, you looking for something?
Me: Yeah. I was looking for a dress. Something for a cocktail dinner
SL: OH! I've got just the thing for you!
*runs towards the Expensive Long Glittery Dress Section and runs back with a halter neck black long dress that looks UGLY. Oh wait, FUGLY. *
Me: *sweatdrops* Uh... You sure?
SL: Yeah! A lot of my bigger sized customers also wear this one. Then they buy a good shawl and cover. It's very nice! Really, go try! Try only ma~
Me: *Bigger sweatdrop* Sure? Nah, I don't think so. I mean, halters are not my thing. Look....
And before I could do anything else she shushed me and pushed me into the fitting room. And I was standing there in the semi darkness, holding to the Lycra halter dress thinking if I should try it on.
Me: Oh FUCK IT. If it makes that old women happy...
*Lots of panting and huffing sounds from within the room*
SL: So, is it all right?
Me: *Small voice* No...
SL: Well, I am sure after a nice shawl it would be wond...... *opens curtains*
Me: Err...
SL: *Hastily* I'll get you a nice shawl *and runs off*
G and Gem: Err....
Me: NO! Er, wait lady, I think I can't do this. I mean, it looks OK and all *what the... who the fuck was I kidding?* but I just can't do the whole halter neck thing. I feel uncomfortable!
SL: Oh my, what a waste. It does look good on you *My, my what a long nose you have*
I escaped unscathed. See? I suck at being honest. I could have just told the lady that I looked horribly like a black brinjal there and then but then I just kinda felt sorry for her. I mean, maybe I felt embarrassed too (and she wanted her sale). Whatever it is, the truth was not told.
Or like that time when I came clean and 'fessed up about my crush on Kay? Er.. that was not pretty too.
Or when me and Kay decided to be honest with each other. Well, he was totally honest and that resulted in 100% heartbreak. He was telling me about his current crushes and asking me what he should buy for her and stuff like that. I just lied through my teeth by pretending I was really happy for him. *I'm going to hell for that*
Man, that wasn't too nice.
No doubt that honesty is good in a relationship, but think about it would you like to know what his/her ex's favorite sex position is? Nahhhh... Just be smart...
Conclusion is, honesty is only good to a certain extent honey. If you want to know, make sure you're prepared to take the truth. If you're not, just don't ask. Don't even go there. This is like totally speaking from experience man...
Honesty, can't have none, can't have them all too...
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8 comments:
I guess questions like that depend on our thought and judgement at that particular point of deep conversations. Or sixth sense, EQ, whatever.
It depends on how much you understand him/her, how you want to handle each other's pass. Love, sex and such are like many other things, more local culture than dead rules.
My advice is if you really can't figure out things like his/her favorite sex positions after few make-out, asked as you may. It's just like asking "Do you like red or blue?" Sometime you'll just have to ask, and gone all the "teka-teki".
I hope i'm reading an honest post here, hehe! Cheers!
Of course you're reading a honest post here. Heheh...
I would say that EQ, or tact is important too. In fact, honesty and tact goes hand in hand. What do you think?
And er... Low, we are talking about sex positions here. heheheheheh
wow...I had no idea it was like that...no wonder I messed up :(
Don't er...me, to be honest, well, you started the sex positions thingy first, hehe...
But hell yes, they both goes well together. But i guess it's better to have conflict at the ealier stage of the relationship, rather than at the later stages, like after getting married. In this case, honesty comes before tact.
And because of "tacting" around, some couples were reluctant to called-off an apparent unhealthy relationship, that one felt responsible for the other half. That's truely oriental culture, but slowly it's changing, no? :)
In any case, it will be a good life experience. There is no time to regret, you can only try to do better next time. You can cry and mourned for a while, but life goes on.
Honestly, we are TOO DAMN asian!
There is no way one would ask the other what their favourite position is. In fact, one would be more likely to tell a total stranger these kinda things as they know that that person will not spill the beans and even if they do, it will do no harm as they're total stangers.
Another reason is because people are afraid of being judged. Everyone wants to have this I-don't-need-you-to-help-me persona.
But on a innocent look to it, we're all just too shy.
Besides that, we're all about pleasing. Most asians would give the, "Anything you like, darling" answer.
Ever encounter this:
Couple walking in shopping mall.
Girl: I'm hungry, are you?
Boy (actually not so hungry): Ermmm... Ok la.
Girl: Where you wanna eat?
Boy (quite broke): Anywhere you want to, darling.
Girl: How about ABC Restaurant (fine dining restaurant)?
Boy: Ermmm... Actually hor, I a bit broke this month. Can eat somewhere else ar?
Girl: Haiyah... Then why you never say earlier? I ask you, you say anywhere I wanna eat. Now you say you no money... blahblahblah
An arguement happens. Girl sulks while guy try to pujuk back. This relationship will take a lot of days and a lot of pampering to mend.
Uh... Gem, are you having your period or something? :p
You sound angry... Like, you've experienced it before. And yes, I agree that we are too Asian. Hate those girls/guys who says things like 'You like la, dear.' Yucks
machinist - It's not the same for everyone. I would like to think life as a huge jigsaw puzzle, and you're supposed to look for your matching piece. Maybe you haven't found your matching piece :) Don't give up!
low - I think hanging on to an unhealthy relationship just sucks. Some couples are just waiting for their partner to say 'let's break up' and that could drag on for quite a bit. Sad ain't it?
Thanks for sharing, ladygem, that's really a typical scene! But i don't think period will help someone to be that 'creative' with that story, though. Experience learned the hard way? :)
Well pinkity, i'm not sure sad or not. If they like it that way, i'll just wish them good luck. Most of the time, i can only advice and share, they are the one who will decide to push that 'continue' or 'off' 'button'.
Don't give up? I don't know you like to talk to mirror :p Cheers!
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