On a happier note...

Listening to: Dragon Ash - Life goes on
Feeling: Unloaded

I am going to Japan for 2 week in April 2010. Now I can die happy!!!!

Back to where we have started...

Listening to: Zee Avi - First of the Gang
Feeling: Left behind

It has been almost half a year since I last blogged. It has been a whirlwind year, with the purchase of the house, change of jobs, weddings all year round, gym and Japanese classes. Though there had not been much freelance jobs, I feel I don't have much time for myself.

I have yet to welcome the arrival of Hayley, Cin and BK's second bundle of joy and the latest princess for me to dote upon. Caden is now all grown up, a natural heartbreaker, cute as a button and cool as ice. I feel so old typing this but yes, Caden is 1 year and 4 months old now. Really, time flies when you're having fun no?

I was thinking of giving up blogging (right) cause I just don't have much to write about. But really, what is life without drama right? There had been loads happening, it's just that it's just too petty to put it down in words. Nothing witty or funny happened. Until yesterday...

You see, it had been a year of weddings and reunions during the said weddings. Frankly, at the right old age of 27 (though many might disagree, thanks guys I love you too) and at the last count, nil relationships to my name, I am starting to worry.

Questions of "When was the last time did you actually feel a fluttering in your stomach when you meet someone new" arose. I mean, the last that happened was when I read Twilight and fell in love with Edward Cullen. And then when I read Matthew Reilly's Scarecrow stories. I mean, how fucking sad is that. And on top of ALL that, I get questions from all around. People can't comprehend the singledom that I have embraced. I couldn't too at times... I feel emotionally inept. It's a little strange and hard to explain cause I can't even explain it to myself...

And so after much contemplating and support, (thanks guys, you know who you are) I have finally decided to give in, to give it a try. Apparently, this one person who had once took a liking to me had waited. Hey, I have waited before and it's not something easy or pleasant. I felt bad. Extremely! But oh well, never too late. Waiter says that he waited, all alone...

And so I find out yesterday that waiter had lied. It's sad. I wonder how can I trust another guy after this. Not the first time, I don't think this will be the last as well. It's not that I liked this guy to begin with. I thought, let's give this a try. But fact is, he lied. And really, I am angry at myself yet again for being so naive...

Yes yes, this is boring stuff... Nothing juicy but something that bothered me more than I would ever admit. While writing this post, I checked out postsecret.blogspot.com...

Credits: Postsecrets.blogspot.com

I'm not feeling sorry for myself I promise but this is just too weird because this one secret sorta concludes how I feel about this whole situation that I myself don't really understand.

And here I am, back to square one...

and so I can finally sleep... restlessly

Listening to: Billy Joel - Lullaby & Robert Pattinson - Never Think
Feeling: Sleepy

I am getting a little desperate because I'm about to finish Breaking Dawn and Midnight Sun. Sigh.. What am I gonna do?

And, I am pissed off. Maybe I should really take some anger management classes... or something.

T^T

and fuck you too...

Listening to: Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
Feeling: Icky...

Point to ponder...

To be nice only to know later on that people think you're an idiot...

OR

To be mean only to be called a bitch?

Sometimes life really a sonofabitch

I wish I am in Forks Washington!

Twilightitis

Listening to: Paramore - I caught myself
Feeling: OHNO-ish



Am reading the Twilight saga now and I wish I am 19 again. While age never really mattered to me, this stupid story (that I dearly love) made me wish I'm in college again. I feel so unhealthy!

It was scary when Seems & WP started obsessing about Twilight and all I could do was look at their emails and grimace, wondering if this two perfectly sane and sensible people have gone nuts. Having read the books, I totally understand why they went nuts, I'm standing at the brink of insanity too!

Edward is a gentlemen every straight girl (and not-so-straight guys) would want. Stephenie Meyer must have been looking for an Edward too when she wrote the Twilight saga.

I think the only reason why Twilight's sales skyrocketed because every hot blooded girl wants an Edward in their life! I mean, even all the obasans are going ga-ga over him. I never thought the name Edward could be hot, but now I'm thinking I should name my kid Edward. Tee hee...

When can I find my Edward?

Back to reading Eclipse (and downloading more Twilight related wallpaper)!

Edit: HOMYFUCKINGGAWD, he sings too!!!

Overactive imagination

Listening to: Clazziquai - I will give you everything
Feeling: Like shit

OK this whole gym regime thing is kinna killing me, but in a good way I think... When I'm on the bloody cardio machine, set to an hour at level 4, I keep thinking of the ways I can parade around that bitch in the office in a woozah outfit + toned body. FUCK YOU!

OK, I rarely hate people that much but when I do, I HATE THEM. Think Hitler.

And really, sometimes I space out and think of the violent things I really wanna do to her; like kneeing her in her face. OH! Or pulling out her hair. OUCH! Or punching her flat nose. Haha.. I'm scaring myself but it sure feels good to imagine. Helps that I got a pretty good imagination.

It's Friday tomorrow and I am glad! Means I can somehow eat something NOT tuna or chicken. Damn, I hope I'm not growing sick of chicken too cause that would mean I will eat NOTHING.

T^T

All for the better good. Think positive Pink, positive!

Anyhoos, company trip kambing up soon. It's to Pangkor (not the Island Resort though I wish) and AH, the sea, the sea! I wanna get a tan. Here's to hoping I can quietly read my book on the beach with a Pina Colada and ciggies.

I need a holiday! And I think Japan is canceled T^T I wanna go Japan!

sigh... off to bed.

Operation DHPW - Progress

Listening to: Thunder!
Feeling: Yay! It's raining!

Huzzah! It's raining!

And yes, I'm officially back to blogging again... Last year was a shameful year for my blog... With only a pathetic 42 post for the whole fucking year... I am gonna post more than that within the next few months I promise!

Anyways, reason being is... I feel like talking to myself more nowadays... If lappie behaves, I might be able to blog till Operation Dream House Pink Walls is completed! Then I am getting a desktop (hopefully a Mac T^T)

It's gonna be a good year I'm telling you. Came home today to a cheque I thought I would never get... And it's raining! Praise the Lord!

Checked ODHPW's website and found out that our future crib has walls now! Goodness!!! Another 10 months to completion!

*Pinches self to see if dreaming...*

OUCH!

Not dreaming!

Ah... off to bed!!!

Birthday snaps...

Listening to: Sandy Lam - Zhi Shao Hai You Ni
Feeling: Tired... I should be sleeping!


On my birthday, we were at Bijou... This was me trying to be artistic..


This is Ollie sharing a Berrylicious Chocolate Pavlova at Delicious with me...


This was the spread we had at Bonga with D, Panda, Jhan, Mamasan, Vnie, Eunice and Eleen... Yummers~

I forgot to snap some pics with Gem when we were out for our little celebration and mani pedi sessions but what the hey.. It's the memories that lasts... :D My little bday celebration in 3 quick snaps...

Now waiting for Jojo & Nini to upload the rest of the pictures!

Otanjyoubi Omedetou!

Listening to: Joss stone - The Chokin' Kind
Feeling: Extra weepy

After bitching some some, let me blog about my bday celebrations... tee hee

Celebration 1~
zozo, seems, loshy threw me and jojo a pool party. Well, it was supposed to be a pool party in lolo's place, but it rained. so in the end, we settled for pot luck. I miss them!!! Zozo made pasta. she should cook all the time. It was so fucking good!!!

Celebration 2~
Went out with co.bday girl, Gem for a countdown and Big D, Panda, mamasan and Vnie joined us! Got mighty embarrassed by their lovely and loud Bday song singalong outside starfucks. Loverly!

Celebration 3~
The big day~ Went for Jap class and sensei got me a amamori. For love, she says. Koi no kami sama... Onegaishimasu! Big D, Panda, mamasan, Vnie, Eunice, Eleen, Jhan bought me Korean food... Protein ma~ Wanted to go home and sleep initially but Panda asked... and I thought, what the hey... turned out to be a wonderful day!

Celebration 4~
Fun, Jye, Nini, DickON, Zoey and sarah brought me and Gem out for dinner at Bijou. I LOVE BIJOU! I love them all too... But all love for Fun and Jye who pooled money to sponsor me a DsLite in Pink. LOVE ALL AROUND!

Celebration 5~
Was supposed to go to the Butterfly Park with Nicmylifebouy, Joethecarebear, Taniaprincess, Bryanthecleobachelor and Ollietheconfusedstarfish but due to the crappy haze, adjourned to Delicious in 1utama. Will not give up in my quest to wear my pink floppy hat so we promised to make another date after the haze clears.

Apart from discussions about getting me a tuna cake, I had a loverly bday!! OK, well the tuna cake wasn't that bad... but I'll remember that for a long time! I'm 27! 3 more years to go!

Love to everyone who wished me!

I know I have not been posting as much as I should but laptop is pooping on me. Battery died and I am just lazy to reset the damn time everytime I bloody switch the laptop on. Now contemplating if I should get a desktop before we move to ODHPW. Initial plan was to wait till I'm all settled in and for me to get a desktop but now I'm praying that MaccyBaby will last till then.

Fingers all crossed.

Blog more.

Live long and prosper. *randomness, but I'm in love with spock. Bite my earsss!!*squeeelllllls*

Looking for someone

Listening to: Kangta & Vaness - 127 Days
Feeling: Weepy~

I am an idiot!! I forgot my key today and the whole family was out with Fan Yee and family for a seafood dinner. I had to spend 4 hours waiting for them to get back before I could get back into the cool comforts of my room.

Was out with Gem for mani & pedi session and after we finished we headed to Pick & Brew for some coffee and ciggies and sat there bitching until 7.30pm when she had to go for dinner with Biscuit. Only realised I had no keys around 7pm but mom was already out by then...

Was trying to think of someone I could call out to fill four hours but decided to stay at Pick & Brew to read the Chicken soup for the soul at work Gem gave me (thanks Gem, lovelove). By the time I finished the book, yes i finished the book, 1U was already closing and I had no where to go.

Didn't want to disturb anyone either cause all I wanna do is to go home and sleep. I really, really, really wanted at that point of time, someone I coud call. Maybe hide out in that person's house for a little while I rant and rave about how stupid I was to leave keys in my room when I already knew everyone was gonna be away! ARGH!

It's sad when you realise that there is no one to call and nowhere to hide...

I want to hide!

He says, she says...

Listening to: Mika Nakashima - Resistance
Feeling: sleepy!

OK, so today someone told me that he'll give me tips on msn on how to pick up guys... And so...

He says: OK, this is what you should do... When you find your target, pretend flip on your phone and say while walking towards him... "Ah yah, Mun Fen, how ah? How to get there ah? Huh turn left? Aiyoh I am not familiar with this place la... You also ah? How ah?" and 'accidently' bump into him...

Mesays: Err...... *Why am I talking to this person in the first place anyways?*

He says: And then ah, you apologize loe... And then you say to him "Execute me.... Do you know how to get to this place"

Mesays: WHAT? EXECUTE ME?

He says: Ya la... can strike up conversation with him then ma... If it's me I would do it loe...

Mesays: Execute me? *sputters and spits onto screen in silent laughter...*

He says: Ya la... if not so rude ma.. interupt without excusing yourself...

Mesays: *long silence* Why in the world am I taking advice from this single guy anyway???

*dies of laughter... *

Execute me while I laugh my ass off!

Randomly, I post...

Listening to: Blue Sorbet - Satisfy Me
Feeling: I should be asleep!

One week has passed in the new office. Loads of work to be done but feeling great and having load of fun.

I am sleeping early nowadays to get up before 7.30am (I do try, I really do) and trying to balance work, gym, freelance, Japanese classes and sleep.

Hopefully by this time next year I'll be fresh back from Japan and ready to take on another year of hard work and the impending move.

Now while I know this year will be a hard one, I hope with all my strength that we will pass this year safely like every other one.

Freelance is like my second full time job, but hey, if one year of hard work translates to 2 weeks of Japan, I'm all for it.

Fingers crossed and wish me luck.

Wish I have more time to blog too... T.T

Nothing exciting happening anytime soon, but that's great...

Update Already!

Listening to: Utada Hikaru - Merry Xmas Mr. Lawrence - FYI
Feeling: Troubled

It's been such a long time since I've updated my blog. Many things happened like Operation Dream House Pink Walls being starting, went to Bangkok for the first time, started saving for Japan for real and changing jobs.

I know changing jobs at this point of time might seem silly because Bintang is of course a much more stable place, but I cannot take it anymore! It's just super complacent there. I do my work for the week and waiting for another assignment. I feel like I'm gonna be kicked out of the department at someone's whim.

Working on my gut feeling, I took on another job offer as a copywriter and left.

With three weeks of leave, I thought I can bum around but boy was I ever so wrong. With a few freelance jobs under my belt, I felt as thought I was doing more than I was at The Bintang. But it's extra income so I'm not complaining.

Been soul searching whenever I had free time. Not that I had much, but I did.

Realized that friends are not what they seem to be.

Realized that there is money to be earned everywhere but do you have the time and stamina to get them all?

Realized that one person's heaven is another person's hell.

And also, most importantly, what is money compared to having the time to spend with my godson?

This three week holiday did me good and without realizing it, I'm starting work this Monday. I am super glad I made some time to go swimming with baby Caden before Cin and family left for Australia.

That boy is gonna grow up to be a super heartbreaker!

I have yet another BFP shoot tomorrow. Hurt my leg during my Bukit Tabur climb (dramatic drumroll please) when I rolled down on the trek down. Will write about that later. It's 4.30 in the morning and I have to be at BU around 10am~!

Meanwhile, just wanna show off that I got 100% for my Japanese Beginner 1 exam!

More tomorrow~

Outside looking in

Popo, if you're looking in on us from above do know that we are not doing well. Do know that shit has hit the fan and do know that we are missing you.

Do know that we loved you all the way till the end and until now.

It's just that we don't show it but that doesn't mean we don't love you. I think you know too and I think you understand.

If they don't then it's ok but it hurts to know that they think you died alone. You did not. Like how you are with us now, we were with you.

My December

Listening to: Princess Mononoke soundtrack
Feeling: Is there anything to look forward to anymore?

Dear all,

It's been a long time since I last blogged and boy had it been a crazy one. I think nothing can describe 'crazy' apart from the word shit. This must be as bad as it can get.

First off a friend of mine jumped and died. From what god knows...

Then my grandma's condition worsened. Then two months down the road, she went peacefully in her sleep. Well, at the very least she went in her sleep peacefully.

Then my favourite grand aunty went too.

All this within two months.

Wait, it gets better.

Problems with money, bills, dad and extended family.

Money earned from extra work goes straight somewhere else. I can just forget Japan NOW.

I wonder somehow now if there is a god. And if there is, what did we do to deserve this? I question my very existence.

If this continues, is there even a reason to live anymore? There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to celebrate.

I just feel so damn tired. I hate this part right here...

And I hope the only way is up from now onwards...

25

Just for the sake of updating...

1. I prefer soft pastel pink to just pink.

2. I will drive the extra mile to get to Burger King.

3. My obsession with manga started off with Dragon Ball but somehow I am not too excited to watch the movie version of it.

4. I don't like watching TV.

5. I have a few books waiting to be written.

6. I wish I am connected to the internet 24/7.

7. I wish I have every gadget in the world in my pocket ala Doraemon.

8. Diamonds make me go a little weak in the knees.

9. Pumpkin rawks!

10. I wish to buy a house for my own and convert one of the rooms into a library (with floor length bookshelves please) filled with manga on one side and books on the other. Another room will be turned into a pink shrine.

11. My biological clock is ticking. Just so you know....

12. I love cooking without the veggie peeling and prep work. And I think I can be a pretty darn good cook.

13. I am Japanese in my past live.

14. I don't wake up until after 2pm.

15. I love playing mahjong and can go on and on like a freaking Energizer bunny.

16. I love my family and wish we can be a little more abnormal (like the Addams family or something)

17. I believe in all Chinese hocus pocus.

18. I am low maintenance.I don't eat seafood and buy expensive clothes. I just want to travel the world.

19. I have so much junk in my room I probably need a month to clear it up.

20. I get annoyed when people are repetitive.

21. My dream house has pink walls and an island kitchen with an in-built oven. And (read no.10)

22. I smoke too much for my own good.

23. I only own 6 pairs of shoes. 2 pairs of sneakers, 3 pairs of highheels and 1 pair of flats. Out of the 6, I only wear the flats. EVERY SINGLE DAY! And out of the 6, I only bought 2 of them.

24. I am taking Japanese language class to prepare myself for my homecoming to Japan, where I am SUPPOSED to be born in.

25. I wish I can go on a holiday with my whole family.

Wait until when?

Do you know how it feels to know that someone is gone forever when you have always thought she will always be there waiting for you by the door?

she was waiting for us all the time...

I miss you popo. Rest in peace.