I am coming to terms with this feeling inside of me that I as of now, still feel uncertain...
I guess, I feel LONELY....
For once.. I am admitting.
Don't get me wrong. I am not short of friends... I have tons. It's just that, no matter how much my friends mean to me, I feel loneliness in a different level. =_=; I dunno...
Today, as I was lying down on my bed, listening to the rain fall on the roof, it struck me that I feel empty inside. Maybe it was just the rainy weather.. It always makes me feel melancholic and moody. I have always said that I love the rainy weather.. I still do.. But on empty, boring days like these... I rather have the day sunny and hot.
Feels like I am lost in this dark, empty space with no horizons. I have this dream countless times, I am standing in this dark place, I can't even see my hands.. And I am trying to escape from this horrible lonely and dark place. But however far I seem to run, I can't seem to find the exit. However far I run, I can't find the horizon of this place. Never really found out the true meaning of this dream, but it still scares me shitless..
It dawned upon me that the dark space could be how I feel about my future.. It is dark and I am trying to evade it.. It could also represent the hollowness I feel in my life.
Somehow I feel like I am doing nothing much with my life. I wish I could do more for the world. Sigh.. Maybe doing something more for my family first would be good (let's start small) I can't even support myself. T-T
Somehow.. at this moment.. I wish that time can stand still while I make up my mind on what to do next and maybe a little more time for myself to decide what kind of person I am turning out to be. I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I'm dizzy. I need a time out... and also some time to let my heart heal.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment