Frustration that was totally unnecessary!

Today... I had a taste of male ego. And boy, was I cheesed..

Ok.. well, to tell the truth, it has nothing to do with me. I could have just shut up and rest my case. But it's just that I feel it is quite stupid to let things to that way. Let start from the top: -

Started off when I thought of having a surprise birthday part for Arihito (his birthday falls on the 1st of October) so I told my 2 other trusty sidekicks, Sarah and Gem. They were like 'Ok YOU plan' T-T So ok anyway, cuz I am so the free and all. And I started off with the guest list. Honestly, apart from me, Gem, Sarah, Nini, None, Sissy, Moo and Speed Dial no. 6, we do not have much on the guest list. So me and my bright mind thought that we should invite his other group of friends, which would include Kst and his bunch of RO mates.

Contacted Kst today via MSN and got him to confirm that he would make it. Sigh.. *Dramatic Drumroll* the problems start. Because I do not know much about the other RO mates like Lily and all, decided to ask Moo to contact them. It started off on a good note. We were joking that Arihito doesn't have much friends and that we prolly need to hire extras to make the party seem more happening. That is when I told him that Kst is invited too.

Of course I remembered what happened in between Kst and Moo and Moo's ex girlfriend. It's just that, Moo had once told me that there will be a time that he and Kst will reconcile. I would understand is he would to tell me that he and Kst will not be like they were before.

Gosh, they were really close before this. I still remember those times when me (I tagged along), Speed Dial no.6, Arihito, Moo, Kst and Dan would go to KL for our comic and gaming spree. Man... it was such a guy thing (playing shooting games and Dance2 Revolution, Para2, buying comic books, looking at techie stuffs like CDRs, comparing modems and such ler) but looking back, it was so fun. I was thinking that they seem to be like brothers. I dunno, but those were the days I look back and think, how fun to have close friends like that. (those were the days before Sarah and Gem I would say.. thank goodness I have them now~) So yeah, then this girlfriend thing happened. And I thought, after all our advices and counseling sessions, Moo would actually get it and maybe forgive Kst.

But no...when I gently let the bomb down, he was like 'He's going to be there?' And I was like, yeah he's gonna be there' And he went on to say something to the effect of 'Why invite him, but since you've already did, nothing much I can do' I was like O.o I told Sarah, Gem, Nini and None about it; we were at Central Perk at that time.

Told Moo that the world doesn't revolve around him and when I was chatting with Kst on MSN just now, it does seem that he was sincere to patch things up. He was like 'I don't know how to start a conversation with him'. Then Moo said 'Screw it because I am not anyone important and he doesn't need to explain things/talk to me. If he ask me something, I would answer. That's it.' That sounded like a take it or leave it. I really really really do NOT understand why would he give such an answer. Because in the first place, he had said that he is quite ready to forgive and forget. If Kst would make the first move. But then, now he would not even give him a chance. He sounded like he would just rather forget that he had this friend.

He went on to say that he doesn't trust Kst anymore. But like what Gem had said, 'It should be the other way round. Kst should be the one not trusting Moo as Moo might try to get Ryl (the girlfriend) back.' And yeah, I do think that was something valid.

Honestly, I thought too, if he would wanna talk about trust, what about me? Should I be trusting Moo too? I mean, after the things and promises that he had made to me and took back within a month... Should I trust him anymore? Had he ever thought of it that way? Of maybe it's just me being stupid and naive to trust him back. Now to think of it.. yeah.. somehow, things that he had promised me and told me are all just lies, so why am I trusting him? T-T Gah... But it's because I choose to take the risk to trust again I would say... What is the point of being friends when we do not trust each other? And why should I let a 9 year friendship go down the drain just because of something pretty much of a mistake? I wish that he could see my point there....

But as I had mentioned earlier... guys are just bursting with ego and according to Sarah, this is a classic case of 'What do YOU have that I don't that my girlfriend would leave me for you?' True that.. but the annoying thing is that Moo would insist the girlfriend thingy has nothing to do with it. I am just gonna sigh and let you decide on what's the case...

But in the end, after a little talk with Sarah, I felt guilty for sticking in my nosy nose into something that doesn't involve me (AGAIN!). I got home, still thinking about it and finally concluded that I was just being a nosy bitch. I sent him a two page sms saying that I was sorry for being pushy. It is after all his decision and not mine. I did not go through the things that he had. And because I always think that, 'if I can do it why can't you' it finally dawned upon me that it is after all individual decisions that makes people an individual. I also told him that I was sorry for being selfish for forcing something to him but again I insisted that I thought that Kst was really sincere. Hope that he would think about it and not just let this friendship between both of them diminish. He had yet to reply my sms, well.. maybe cause I sent that sms at bout 330am. =_=;

I would be damned it Kst had told me that he is trying to patch things up between Moo and him and all I am doing is just to sit back and look. If this is what it would take to build a friendship back, I would do it again... sigh...

This male ego thing leaves a bitter taste in my mouth... I do really really hope that nothing like this would happen between me, Gem and Sarah. As in liking the same guy.... It would be pretty hard to make that decision to either lose the love of your life or to lose that good bud that you have been tru shit with... Because I know... no matter what we would say it now.. if it really happens one day, there will be jealousy and there will be heartbreak and heartache and most definately there will a crossroad that would require you to choose...

Dear God, it would be easier if you want me to choose between life or death, but please do not let me choose between two friends...

T-T 5.41am already.. time for bed...