Listening to: Evil Hitler's voice
Feeling: Depressingly bored
OMG, I've never thought that these words would cross my mind, but I am so fecking bored. Can you imagine having nothing to do from the moment you step into the office until you leave the office? No, I can't sleep and definitely cannot loiter around for the the fear of having politics to deal with...
The Cold War continues...
Pink - 1 Hitler - 1
Still at a draw. Haiyah, so boring.
Still waiting for other mags to reply. And that itself is mental torture. *think the Nazis and POWs* It's painful to sit and wait while people around me runs around in a flurry of activities. Seems and Sarah S told me to sit back and enjoy. It ws pretty enjoyable for the first few HOURS... after sitting pretty till the day ends, I feel useless. Man.. I think this is Hitler's guerilla tactic to get me to go.
So after 2 weeks of bumming, I am officially depressed. The moment I walk into the office, I feel like I want to run out, yes, RUN out. No shit. If not for the people (minus a few), I would have died. Of boredom. And lack of self esteem.
All I'm doing now is just blogging and chatting everyday. Don't envy me, I'm not being a bitch, try it for a week, you'll prolly last about 3 days. Sighs...
Dying...
Dying...
Dead.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Men We Love
Listening to: Sandy Lam - Zhi Shao Hai You Ni
Feeling: Excited
Just a quick one before I sleep. Got back from Nuyou's 2005 Men We Love party at The Loft and it was spectacular. Had loads of fun by ourselves. Heheh.. It's one of those parties where you just go there for drinks and that's it, you don't care about anything else.
So drink, drink, drink. Everyone was merry. After they announced the winner for the event, we dashed for food. I was so fecking hungry because food was only reserved for VIPS. (gawd damnit, they could have just spared us some old soggy sandwiches) Was raining but we managed to get to one of those high class mamaks that charged me RM4.50 for nasi pattaya which totally tasted like crap. But still, food is still food. Oh well... telan only la!!!
Next we went next door to Tokyo Te. Had some really nice maki rolls there. Remind me to go there again when I have the cash. It's bout RM13 per dish. Pretty reasonable if you're a small eater. I would need to have about 2 plates before I feel satisfied. We had the place with the best view though.. It was abit embarrassing, but I just HAD to take some pictures... Check out the view of KLCC~
Clear view of KLCC, fresh and clean after the earlier heavy downpour
Anywayz, pictures from G's birthday extravaganza is up, thanks Kst. Here's the link .
And oh, do try spotting the lovebirds, those who can find all 3 pairs wins nothing!!! *giggles*
Edit: Whoopz, did I say 3 pairs of lovebirds? My bad *giggles* I meant 2. *giggles*
Feeling: Excited
Just a quick one before I sleep. Got back from Nuyou's 2005 Men We Love party at The Loft and it was spectacular. Had loads of fun by ourselves. Heheh.. It's one of those parties where you just go there for drinks and that's it, you don't care about anything else.
So drink, drink, drink. Everyone was merry. After they announced the winner for the event, we dashed for food. I was so fecking hungry because food was only reserved for VIPS. (gawd damnit, they could have just spared us some old soggy sandwiches) Was raining but we managed to get to one of those high class mamaks that charged me RM4.50 for nasi pattaya which totally tasted like crap. But still, food is still food. Oh well... telan only la!!!
Next we went next door to Tokyo Te. Had some really nice maki rolls there. Remind me to go there again when I have the cash. It's bout RM13 per dish. Pretty reasonable if you're a small eater. I would need to have about 2 plates before I feel satisfied. We had the place with the best view though.. It was abit embarrassing, but I just HAD to take some pictures... Check out the view of KLCC~
Clear view of KLCC, fresh and clean after the earlier heavy downpour
Anywayz, pictures from G's birthday extravaganza is up, thanks Kst. Here's the link .
And oh, do try spotting the lovebirds, those who can find all 3 pairs wins nothing!!! *giggles*
Edit: Whoopz, did I say 3 pairs of lovebirds? My bad *giggles* I meant 2. *giggles*
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Labels
I've got this like a thousand times over the email but I still laugh everytime I read it. So, I'm gonna post this up here and read this whenever I need a fix.
Though I am not too sure if it really appeared on the labels but it is funny enough so here you go:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION
LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR
APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The
shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind
of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners -
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine -
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid -
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
Though I am not too sure if it really appeared on the labels but it is funny enough so here you go:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION
LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR
APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The
shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind
of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners -
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine -
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid -
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
It's out of the bag
Listening to: Coco Lee - Secretly Loving You
Feeling: Sleepy
And so he found out about this blog and read everything I had thought about him.
First reaction was shock, then I laughed, and then panic again and everything mellowed down to relief. Maybe it was a good thing that he knows. Maybe, who knows that things will turn out to be just peachy, given some time. Who knows by knowing that he now knows how I feel, I'll feel better too?
Ah, who the hell knows...
So he tells me that he feels like a jerk after reading previous posts. I have to first clarify that I did not intend for him to sound like one. Most of the time I thought that he deserves it but then again, I am always angry when I blog about him.
Everything that I had written about him was from the point of view of an angsty girl who had too much time in her hands, thus thinking about everything in different angles. Thus the anger. So unnecessary.
The very moment that I realized what I had done, I immediately freak out and spent that whole evening just freaking out. Sought counsel from Gem, G and Nini immediately at Central Perk. (well, at least it was not Coffee Bean, where people sit discussing problems that could never be solved, watch Bewitched to understand)
Gem: It's a no-win situation.
Translation: You're dead meat
Nini: You should have a talk to him and work things out.
Translation: It's up to you to settle this. I have nothing to advice
G: *gape*
Translation: What the hell is wrong with you woman?
And that was it.
I think they're sick of me telling them things like that. Every time I bring this subject up, they look at me apprehensively. I mean, well, I would feel sick of myself too if I put myself in their shoes. 5 years of listening to someone pining over something that won't happen isn't exactly fun.
For that I totally love them. Supplying tissues and shoulders ain't fun. I know because I had been there. I love them to bits.
OK then, am moving on from this. Nic, there will be no more depressive posts. It'll all be sunshine and rainbows. I hope... *fingers crossed!!!*
Feeling: Sleepy
And so he found out about this blog and read everything I had thought about him.
First reaction was shock, then I laughed, and then panic again and everything mellowed down to relief. Maybe it was a good thing that he knows. Maybe, who knows that things will turn out to be just peachy, given some time. Who knows by knowing that he now knows how I feel, I'll feel better too?
Ah, who the hell knows...
So he tells me that he feels like a jerk after reading previous posts. I have to first clarify that I did not intend for him to sound like one. Most of the time I thought that he deserves it but then again, I am always angry when I blog about him.
Everything that I had written about him was from the point of view of an angsty girl who had too much time in her hands, thus thinking about everything in different angles. Thus the anger. So unnecessary.
The very moment that I realized what I had done, I immediately freak out and spent that whole evening just freaking out. Sought counsel from Gem, G and Nini immediately at Central Perk. (well, at least it was not Coffee Bean, where people sit discussing problems that could never be solved, watch Bewitched to understand)
Gem: It's a no-win situation.
Translation: You're dead meat
Nini: You should have a talk to him and work things out.
Translation: It's up to you to settle this. I have nothing to advice
G: *gape*
Translation: What the hell is wrong with you woman?
And that was it.
I think they're sick of me telling them things like that. Every time I bring this subject up, they look at me apprehensively. I mean, well, I would feel sick of myself too if I put myself in their shoes. 5 years of listening to someone pining over something that won't happen isn't exactly fun.
For that I totally love them. Supplying tissues and shoulders ain't fun. I know because I had been there. I love them to bits.
OK then, am moving on from this. Nic, there will be no more depressive posts. It'll all be sunshine and rainbows. I hope... *fingers crossed!!!*
I've really decided
That I should avoid, ignore and evade him till the time is right
Which means, whenever I think I can actually face him for real
The feeling is gone only to be replaced by a certain amount of self pity
Which is shitty
I hate self pity, it feels pathetic
OK, meaning I am not feeling self-pity. I'm just feeling pathetic.
Yay
Which means, whenever I think I can actually face him for real
The feeling is gone only to be replaced by a certain amount of self pity
Which is shitty
I hate self pity, it feels pathetic
OK, meaning I am not feeling self-pity. I'm just feeling pathetic.
Yay
In a moment of boredom...
Listening to: Utada Hikaru - About me
Feeling: Sleepy
I've decided.
Decided to flee from everything
Fly away free into the sky
With no suffering and no happiness
Just emptiness
But in the emptiness, I will soar
Feeling: Sleepy
I've decided.
Decided to flee from everything
Fly away free into the sky
With no suffering and no happiness
Just emptiness
But in the emptiness, I will soar
Not so clever after all
Eyer... Right after I patted myself on the back, the Tarot reading on the sidebar fucked on me. I've viewed it on the mac the night before and the alignment was OK. Sheesh.
Viewed it today and the whole profile, archive and links went down to the bottom of the page. So after much fixing and trying, I've decided to pull it out.
BUT, due to my stubborn nature I will tinker with it somemore and will try my very best to up it again. T-T
Viewed it today and the whole profile, archive and links went down to the bottom of the page. So after much fixing and trying, I've decided to pull it out.
BUT, due to my stubborn nature I will tinker with it somemore and will try my very best to up it again. T-T
Penjual Ikan
Listening to: The Bee Gees - Lonely Days
Feeling: Melanchonic (did I spell that right?)
I feel like such a selfish whining bitch right now. Had a chat with Joe just now. She was surfing around and found this guy's blog. Apparently this guy passed away and people were leaving eulogies on his site. So me being the ke-poh asked Joe for the website so I can see what's the big hoo hah.
It looks like one of those normal looking blogs. A few pictures of him in clubs, with friends, things like that. The only thing that was different was the last two posts were eulogies from his friends to him, posted by a guest blogger.
Heck, my God. I can feel tears.
I don't even know this fella. The last post was by him, pretty optimistic and with pictures of his condition. (He had cancer BTW) Next thing you know, he's gone.
I don't know who he is, I don't know how he's nice to his friends. I don't know what happened but I feel a sudden connection to this guy
Rest in Peace, David Thong
http://thongdavid.blogspot.com/
My worries are just miniscule compared to what he had. And he had been so brave. To be able to blog about his illness, I think he is just amazing. Now every time something goes wrong, I should just say to myself,
'BOO-FREAKING-HOO. Too bad if your boss is a biatch. At least you're still alive. BOO-FREAKING-HOO if Homeboy decides get someone new. At least you're still alive.'
So much more time to experience and explore this long journey called life.
Appreciate
Feeling: Melanchonic (did I spell that right?)
I feel like such a selfish whining bitch right now. Had a chat with Joe just now. She was surfing around and found this guy's blog. Apparently this guy passed away and people were leaving eulogies on his site. So me being the ke-poh asked Joe for the website so I can see what's the big hoo hah.
It looks like one of those normal looking blogs. A few pictures of him in clubs, with friends, things like that. The only thing that was different was the last two posts were eulogies from his friends to him, posted by a guest blogger.
Heck, my God. I can feel tears.
I don't even know this fella. The last post was by him, pretty optimistic and with pictures of his condition. (He had cancer BTW) Next thing you know, he's gone.
I don't know who he is, I don't know how he's nice to his friends. I don't know what happened but I feel a sudden connection to this guy
Rest in Peace, David Thong
http://thongdavid.blogspot.com/
My worries are just miniscule compared to what he had. And he had been so brave. To be able to blog about his illness, I think he is just amazing. Now every time something goes wrong, I should just say to myself,
'BOO-FREAKING-HOO. Too bad if your boss is a biatch. At least you're still alive. BOO-FREAKING-HOO if Homeboy decides get someone new. At least you're still alive.'
So much more time to experience and explore this long journey called life.
Appreciate
New addition to the blog
Listening to: The Bee Gees - Don't forget to remember
Feeling: Cold and rather clever
*pats self on back*
Feeling rather clever because I had just added a Tarot section in my sidebar. Got daily updates OK, don't play play...
Tarots, one of my obsessions. I still have my Raider Waite pack with me. It had been pretty accurate for whatever that I had asked, (until I got tired of interpreting it) and I think this site is pretty accurate as well.. Try it out and tell me what you think!
P/S: Scroll down to see the section. It's on the right side of the page.
Feeling: Cold and rather clever
*pats self on back*
Feeling rather clever because I had just added a Tarot section in my sidebar. Got daily updates OK, don't play play...
Tarots, one of my obsessions. I still have my Raider Waite pack with me. It had been pretty accurate for whatever that I had asked, (until I got tired of interpreting it) and I think this site is pretty accurate as well.. Try it out and tell me what you think!
P/S: Scroll down to see the section. It's on the right side of the page.
Monday, October 10, 2005
The Waiting Game
Listening to: Random Chinese music from the computer
Feeling: Had been worst
Wait wait wait... I hate waiting
Like waiting for the water to boil when you're super hungry
Waiting for the bus when you know you're late for work
Waiting for your results at the end of the semester
Waiting for a friend to come out of the house when you're outside in the car
Waiting for a phone call from someone whom you want to hear from
Waiting in line in the traffic jam
Waiting for payday to come
Waiting for people to reply when you want to loan stuff from them
Now I can add to the list...
Waiting for a reply on your job
Feeling: Had been worst
Wait wait wait... I hate waiting
Like waiting for the water to boil when you're super hungry
Waiting for the bus when you know you're late for work
Waiting for your results at the end of the semester
Waiting for a friend to come out of the house when you're outside in the car
Waiting for a phone call from someone whom you want to hear from
Waiting in line in the traffic jam
Waiting for payday to come
Waiting for people to reply when you want to loan stuff from them
Now I can add to the list...
Waiting for a reply on your job
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Queen G's Big Day
Listening to: The Killers - All the things that I had done
Feeling: Like I need more than one coffee
Hail Queen G, for it is her birthday today. But sadly, she had to work today so no celebrations today. We were supposed to head towards PD for a night of boozing and sex. (JOKING!) Instead Gem planned a dinner for her yesterday.
We went to Fondue House in Hartamas and ordered everything that was on the menu. My god, it was an orgasmic experience. Took a ton of pictures but it is in Kst's camera. (Can't find the memory card for mine) Will load it up once Kst loads them into Multiply. Made loads of noise, as usual and proceeded to Friendster for beer and fun.
Cheersss!!!
Pwoarrrrrr.. We had 6 jugs of beer between 9 of us.
Gem and HamHam going strong
The results were disastrous.
Gem surrendering to the alcohol
Me surrendering to the alcohol as well
Sissy died from alcohol OD
Well, because of Sissy, me and G decided to...
Draw a mole on him
Sexually molest him
All together now
But then we had to stop because he woke up.
But when the clock struck 12, we got the staff at Friendster to bring the cake out and we made hellloadofnoise, as usual, singing the birthday song for G...
Kisses for the birthday girl
Squished into an oblong shaped picture
It was a mega tiring day but all in all fun. Nearly went to Genting, I really wanted to but HamHam, KatKat, G and Gem had to work the next day. Maybe another time!
Happy Birthday again G!!!!
Feeling: Like I need more than one coffee
Hail Queen G, for it is her birthday today. But sadly, she had to work today so no celebrations today. We were supposed to head towards PD for a night of boozing and sex. (JOKING!) Instead Gem planned a dinner for her yesterday.
We went to Fondue House in Hartamas and ordered everything that was on the menu. My god, it was an orgasmic experience. Took a ton of pictures but it is in Kst's camera. (Can't find the memory card for mine) Will load it up once Kst loads them into Multiply. Made loads of noise, as usual and proceeded to Friendster for beer and fun.
Cheersss!!!
Pwoarrrrrr.. We had 6 jugs of beer between 9 of us.
Gem and HamHam going strong
The results were disastrous.
Gem surrendering to the alcohol
Me surrendering to the alcohol as well
Sissy died from alcohol OD
Well, because of Sissy, me and G decided to...
Draw a mole on him
Sexually molest him
All together now
But then we had to stop because he woke up.
But when the clock struck 12, we got the staff at Friendster to bring the cake out and we made hellloadofnoise, as usual, singing the birthday song for G...
Kisses for the birthday girl
Squished into an oblong shaped picture
It was a mega tiring day but all in all fun. Nearly went to Genting, I really wanted to but HamHam, KatKat, G and Gem had to work the next day. Maybe another time!
Happy Birthday again G!!!!
New! Yeah!
Postdated entry
Listening to: Norah Jones - Those sweet words
Feeling: Bored as hell
It was exactly a week ago when I decided a change was in order. So I tagged along with G to her Uncle's for a haircut, whatever. I just want to look different. The initial plan was just to get a trim...
This is me with old hair
Throughout the drive there, I mulled over the option of getting a perm. I had thought of getting a perm before I chopped off my hair and now, this is my chance. I felt adventurous and pissed off at the world at that time. Perm it was. Here's the result...
Curly as hell. But I like it loads!
I thinks *giggles* I kinda look like a doll with this hair
It was such a big change and everyone was like super shocked. Usual reactions are OMGs, OMFGs, you know, things along that line..
I wanted to take a picture of everybody's reaction and post it here. More of that later!
Listening to: Norah Jones - Those sweet words
Feeling: Bored as hell
It was exactly a week ago when I decided a change was in order. So I tagged along with G to her Uncle's for a haircut, whatever. I just want to look different. The initial plan was just to get a trim...
This is me with old hair
Throughout the drive there, I mulled over the option of getting a perm. I had thought of getting a perm before I chopped off my hair and now, this is my chance. I felt adventurous and pissed off at the world at that time. Perm it was. Here's the result...
Curly as hell. But I like it loads!
I thinks *giggles* I kinda look like a doll with this hair
It was such a big change and everyone was like super shocked. Usual reactions are OMGs, OMFGs, you know, things along that line..
I wanted to take a picture of everybody's reaction and post it here. More of that later!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Introducing...
Listening to: Fish Leong - Rainbow
Feeling: Sleepy and it is raining now
First, let me introduce you to Nicholas. He had been my closest buddy (he used to sit next to me) all through the trying years of high school and had been listening to me rant and rave throughout those hormone raged years
And so he reads my blog, and had been commenting that I am getting too depressed for my own good. So one fine day last week, he had decided that it was enough.
We had a long talk over dinner and he was kind enough to pay for dinner AND listen to me bitch about everything. *hearts*
Guess some things never change.
Thank you Nic. You're forever my next door/seat savior!
Feeling: Sleepy and it is raining now
First, let me introduce you to Nicholas. He had been my closest buddy (he used to sit next to me) all through the trying years of high school and had been listening to me rant and rave throughout those hormone raged years
And so he reads my blog, and had been commenting that I am getting too depressed for my own good. So one fine day last week, he had decided that it was enough.
We had a long talk over dinner and he was kind enough to pay for dinner AND listen to me bitch about everything. *hearts*
Guess some things never change.
Thank you Nic. You're forever my next door/seat savior!
Friday, October 07, 2005
I don't wanna know
Listening to: James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Feeling: The Blues (I know I shouldn't!! I Know, but I can't help it)
Flashback mode
A sudden sound interrupted my peaceful (not) search for images on Corbis. Flipped open my phone to see a message from SD6.
"What now?" it was involuntary but it escaped from my mouth.
'Bodo, just got back. Still at work? Hehe'
"What the fuck? What the fuck you want from me now? I don't want to fucking talk to you anymore. Because I know everytime you call me or message me, it would only mean something bad is about to happen to me" that was also involuntary. So much anger. So much bitterness.
"Yeah. Still at work, why you back?" was sent with a slight smirk.
So ladida-ladida.. mindless conversation that didn't mean anything but progressed because it was necessary ensued. 'Necessary' meaning 'layan'. And 'layan' I did.
I knew something was coming. After a while I just said that I needed to go because I had to leave the office already. And so...
'Ok then, drive safe. And... erm, I've got together with The other girl. Don't laugh.'
For a moment, it was a blank. And then there was a ringing sound in my ears and I dropped my phone on the desk. I mean, thanks alot mother fucker but that I really do NOT need on a bright sunshiny Tuesday. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was all I could think of because I was in a state of shock, sadness and whatever that feels bad.
At that point... I thought, man.. I really don't want to know. Because what I know makes me feel crap. And so I hastily sent G a message on MSN (I was actually chatting with her at that point of time) saying that I need to go and he had sent me a message like that.
TOG. The Other Girl.
Man, what did I do in my past life to deserve this. I ran to my car, ran thinking that I should just crash into something and die. That would be less painful.
The drive home reminded me of the time he had to leave for Elsewhere. Tears blurring my sight. And it was raining. And on the radio it was playing Fish Leong's Ke She Bu Shi Ni. 'It's a pity that it wasn't you who will be with me till the end'. Great. I really needed that to remind myself of my miseries.
I know that I shouldn't have but I did cry. I hate admitting that I have yet again cried for him but then it just happened. I can't control it. Nicholas, you were right. I know you were right, but then again, things like feelings couldn't be controlled like that. I just want to take things in my own pace.
Just let me be.
I don't want to know too...
Feeling: The Blues (I know I shouldn't!! I Know, but I can't help it)
Flashback mode
A sudden sound interrupted my peaceful (not) search for images on Corbis. Flipped open my phone to see a message from SD6.
"What now?" it was involuntary but it escaped from my mouth.
'Bodo, just got back. Still at work? Hehe'
"What the fuck? What the fuck you want from me now? I don't want to fucking talk to you anymore. Because I know everytime you call me or message me, it would only mean something bad is about to happen to me" that was also involuntary. So much anger. So much bitterness.
"Yeah. Still at work, why you back?" was sent with a slight smirk.
So ladida-ladida.. mindless conversation that didn't mean anything but progressed because it was necessary ensued. 'Necessary' meaning 'layan'. And 'layan' I did.
I knew something was coming. After a while I just said that I needed to go because I had to leave the office already. And so...
'Ok then, drive safe. And... erm, I've got together with The other girl. Don't laugh.'
For a moment, it was a blank. And then there was a ringing sound in my ears and I dropped my phone on the desk. I mean, thanks alot mother fucker but that I really do NOT need on a bright sunshiny Tuesday. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was all I could think of because I was in a state of shock, sadness and whatever that feels bad.
At that point... I thought, man.. I really don't want to know. Because what I know makes me feel crap. And so I hastily sent G a message on MSN (I was actually chatting with her at that point of time) saying that I need to go and he had sent me a message like that.
TOG. The Other Girl.
Man, what did I do in my past life to deserve this. I ran to my car, ran thinking that I should just crash into something and die. That would be less painful.
The drive home reminded me of the time he had to leave for Elsewhere. Tears blurring my sight. And it was raining. And on the radio it was playing Fish Leong's Ke She Bu Shi Ni. 'It's a pity that it wasn't you who will be with me till the end'. Great. I really needed that to remind myself of my miseries.
I know that I shouldn't have but I did cry. I hate admitting that I have yet again cried for him but then it just happened. I can't control it. Nicholas, you were right. I know you were right, but then again, things like feelings couldn't be controlled like that. I just want to take things in my own pace.
Just let me be.
I don't want to know too...
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
A fishy affair
Post dated entry...
Listening to: Fish Leong - Ke She Bu Shi Ni
Feeling: Blah-Blah-Blah
So Saturday came and went... The Fish concert was... SPECTACULAR!!!
Well.. Maybe I was just being biased cause I like her loads and stuff but then she was really good. The costumes, songs (though I felt a bit disappointed that they didn't play a few songs I heart but then it was still good), the dance routines..
I teared throughout because it feels damn overwhelming wei..There is this 'Gosh, damn amazing right? feeling. Fish's from Malaysia so she told the audience how hard it was to break into the Malaysian market, how she misses her family and stuff like that. And then in the end, for encore, she sang her late father's favorite song and they showed her mom and she was crying and I was crying and Sarah N was crying and Kst was crying.. SOOO CHAMMM
The concert was fab but getting there, parking and security was not. Me and G left at about 6 o'clock so that we could get a good parking. The drive from my place to Bukit Jalil stadium would usually take about say.. 45 minutes tops? But unknown to us, there was a football match going on in the next stadium. It was Selangor VS Perlis and ohmygoditwassofreakingjammeditwasnotfunnyatall.
Me and G got stuck till 8pm. (On the upside, we saw some cute policemen!! Skanky we are!!!). Sarah N, Kst, Arihito and Gem got there about 6ish and waited for us until then. I kinda freaked out because 4 of the tickets were with me and if I'm late that would mean that all of them will have to get in late as well. So in the end, after driving slower than a tortoise, we reached the carpark entrance. Can you imagine the horror when I saw the entrance closed? In the end, I drove on and left my car beside the highway and made a dash for the stadium. (Fish commented, at the end of the concert that it someone told her that there were a lot of cars outside because there was no more parking in the carparks. Then she said that it was touching that we had just dumped our cars beside the road just to watch her concert. She's so sweet!!!)
The security. My god, they were good. In fact, they were too good. I know it was partly my fault for ignoring the warning of no pictures but then I just HAD to take a picture of Fish to post it here so I took a quick snap of her performing. And the next second, I got caught by one of the guards. Fine I was willing to send my phone to the safe but then the guard did not need to be so mean to me. Bloody.. What the hell man... He was talking to me rather rudely.
Oh well.. I missed one of favorite songs, Ting Bu Dao, so I was fairly pissed. Apart from that unfortunate event, everything went well.. it was an emotional affair but it was good. Bought her new CD at the venue and it rocks like mad. God, it's so good. Will rant on later.
Picture of the stage before the concert started
Listening to: Fish Leong - Ke She Bu Shi Ni
Feeling: Blah-Blah-Blah
So Saturday came and went... The Fish concert was... SPECTACULAR!!!
Well.. Maybe I was just being biased cause I like her loads and stuff but then she was really good. The costumes, songs (though I felt a bit disappointed that they didn't play a few songs I heart but then it was still good), the dance routines..
I teared throughout because it feels damn overwhelming wei..There is this 'Gosh, damn amazing right? feeling. Fish's from Malaysia so she told the audience how hard it was to break into the Malaysian market, how she misses her family and stuff like that. And then in the end, for encore, she sang her late father's favorite song and they showed her mom and she was crying and I was crying and Sarah N was crying and Kst was crying.. SOOO CHAMMM
The concert was fab but getting there, parking and security was not. Me and G left at about 6 o'clock so that we could get a good parking. The drive from my place to Bukit Jalil stadium would usually take about say.. 45 minutes tops? But unknown to us, there was a football match going on in the next stadium. It was Selangor VS Perlis and ohmygoditwassofreakingjammeditwasnotfunnyatall.
Me and G got stuck till 8pm. (On the upside, we saw some cute policemen!! Skanky we are!!!). Sarah N, Kst, Arihito and Gem got there about 6ish and waited for us until then. I kinda freaked out because 4 of the tickets were with me and if I'm late that would mean that all of them will have to get in late as well. So in the end, after driving slower than a tortoise, we reached the carpark entrance. Can you imagine the horror when I saw the entrance closed? In the end, I drove on and left my car beside the highway and made a dash for the stadium. (Fish commented, at the end of the concert that it someone told her that there were a lot of cars outside because there was no more parking in the carparks. Then she said that it was touching that we had just dumped our cars beside the road just to watch her concert. She's so sweet!!!)
The security. My god, they were good. In fact, they were too good. I know it was partly my fault for ignoring the warning of no pictures but then I just HAD to take a picture of Fish to post it here so I took a quick snap of her performing. And the next second, I got caught by one of the guards. Fine I was willing to send my phone to the safe but then the guard did not need to be so mean to me. Bloody.. What the hell man... He was talking to me rather rudely.
Oh well.. I missed one of favorite songs, Ting Bu Dao, so I was fairly pissed. Apart from that unfortunate event, everything went well.. it was an emotional affair but it was good. Bought her new CD at the venue and it rocks like mad. God, it's so good. Will rant on later.
Picture of the stage before the concert started
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Anticipation sucks
Listening to: Random music from colleague's computer
Feeling: Frustration and sleepiness and restlessness, all in the same time. Is that possible?
So I was anticipating The Call from The Editor on Friday. I had a neck creak from turning too much, looking at my screen and then looking at my phone. I hate waiting for calls when it comes to things like these. Deep in your heart, you know something is wrong. I felt that on Friday, and maybe because of that I was afraid to call The Editor.
So I thought to myself that I should wait till Monday. Partly because I didn't want to hear bad news that day and spoil my weekend and partly because I was afraid (in a way) to call her. And so I finally gathered enough courage to press 'Call' (after fingers on that button for about ten minutes).
Like how I thought it would be, she said that they only need someone later next month. So after a few hours of neck exercise I am disappointed once again. I hate the feeling of waiting, wether it is me waiting for other people or people waiting for me. Oh well... Another wait for nothing.
Feeling: Frustration and sleepiness and restlessness, all in the same time. Is that possible?
So I was anticipating The Call from The Editor on Friday. I had a neck creak from turning too much, looking at my screen and then looking at my phone. I hate waiting for calls when it comes to things like these. Deep in your heart, you know something is wrong. I felt that on Friday, and maybe because of that I was afraid to call The Editor.
So I thought to myself that I should wait till Monday. Partly because I didn't want to hear bad news that day and spoil my weekend and partly because I was afraid (in a way) to call her. And so I finally gathered enough courage to press 'Call' (after fingers on that button for about ten minutes).
Like how I thought it would be, she said that they only need someone later next month. So after a few hours of neck exercise I am disappointed once again. I hate the feeling of waiting, wether it is me waiting for other people or people waiting for me. Oh well... Another wait for nothing.
Cancel that thought!
Feeling: Freaked out
Don't mind the previous post. It was typed out of anger. I do mean some of the things said there, like I wanna be left alone for a while till I sort out my work problems. Till then..
Don't mind the previous post. It was typed out of anger. I do mean some of the things said there, like I wanna be left alone for a while till I sort out my work problems. Till then..
Can-o-Worms
There is this confusion inside of me, thinking
"Should I or should I not continue going out with them?"
The reason is that I cannot stand the pettiness, the nastiness hidden behind sweet smiles, the gossips (and I admit that I had contributed my share and listened to enough), the politics, the hypocrisy (which I think I have a big part to play) and heart sickness that we have amongst each other.
Fine, we do share great times together, but most of the time we bitch about each other. I tell myself that it is just constructive critism but deep down inside, I know the intentions are evil.. We bitch about each other.
Maybe it is an open secret, I bitch about you, you bitch about me, she bitches about both of us, who freaking knows? But it is a fact that we do talk about each other.
Recently, I have loads of problems in the office. I also have a few BGR (boy-girl-relationship) problems and to top it all off, I have money problems (talk about having an all rounder man). At times like these, I wanted to be alone actually. All I want to do was to go home and cry but then one or another would want to confide in me, or talk to me depending on what day it is.
Me being me, I cannot turn down invitations to go out, went out with her/him/them. And I will get pissed in the process. It might be just a small thing, like maybe someone can't decide on what to eat and this person is holding up the whole table's orders I'll get pissed. If someone needs a ride and tells me last minute and talking to me as though accusing me of not picking him/her out, I'd get pissed. If someone talks in a sarky way to me, I'd get MEGA pissed. If someone flies my kite on picking someone who lives real far last minute and expecting me to pick this person up, I'd leave early.
Maybe it is me. Wait a min.. It IS me!!! It's all about me-me-me now (sorry Gem, stole your line). That is why I rather not go out nowadays. I am in my 'I'm so kelian' stage where I want to crawl under my comforters and sleep till 8 the next morning... I don't want people to comfort or pity me because I feel crap after pity sessions.
Edit:I want to be left alone. I want to think things through. I want to get more sleep. I want to de-stress. I need to find myself once more...
P/S: This is not a call to leave me alone. Just something to tell friends that I am sorry but I might not be able to join you guys as often because I am sick and tired of everything, at the moment. You should understand that if I am missing from drinks, it is because I am trying to contain myself. I hate to suddenly burst out and start shouting at people.
"Should I or should I not continue going out with them?"
The reason is that I cannot stand the pettiness, the nastiness hidden behind sweet smiles, the gossips (and I admit that I had contributed my share and listened to enough), the politics, the hypocrisy (which I think I have a big part to play) and heart sickness that we have amongst each other.
Fine, we do share great times together, but most of the time we bitch about each other. I tell myself that it is just constructive critism but deep down inside, I know the intentions are evil.. We bitch about each other.
Maybe it is an open secret, I bitch about you, you bitch about me, she bitches about both of us, who freaking knows? But it is a fact that we do talk about each other.
Recently, I have loads of problems in the office. I also have a few BGR (boy-girl-relationship) problems and to top it all off, I have money problems (talk about having an all rounder man). At times like these, I wanted to be alone actually. All I want to do was to go home and cry but then one or another would want to confide in me, or talk to me depending on what day it is.
Me being me, I cannot turn down invitations to go out, went out with her/him/them. And I will get pissed in the process. It might be just a small thing, like maybe someone can't decide on what to eat and this person is holding up the whole table's orders I'll get pissed. If someone needs a ride and tells me last minute and talking to me as though accusing me of not picking him/her out, I'd get pissed. If someone talks in a sarky way to me, I'd get MEGA pissed. If someone flies my kite on picking someone who lives real far last minute and expecting me to pick this person up, I'd leave early.
Maybe it is me. Wait a min.. It IS me!!! It's all about me-me-me now (sorry Gem, stole your line). That is why I rather not go out nowadays. I am in my 'I'm so kelian' stage where I want to crawl under my comforters and sleep till 8 the next morning... I don't want people to comfort or pity me because I feel crap after pity sessions.
Edit:
P/S: This is not a call to leave me alone. Just something to tell friends that I am sorry but I might not be able to join you guys as often because I am sick and tired of everything, at the moment. You should understand that if I am missing from drinks, it is because I am trying to contain myself. I hate to suddenly burst out and start shouting at people.
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