Stupid little silly me

Listening to: Sarah McLachlan - Adia (Live)
Feeling: Contented now that I am eating

Well, it was yesterday night when I had finally made that decision to really burn whatever that could remind me of him. It was impromptu but liberating.

It burned... symbolically it burned away to leave its charred remains.
The heat stung my thighs as I burned those pieces of paper I used to read before I go to sleep. It was painful but the warmth was in a way comforting.

I didn't know that even after burning it, the printing on the paper still remains. I guess it was some sort of a sign that could mean this will take a long time.. Even after everything, the print marks are still there.

Chinese believes that when you burn offerings, the ashes carry your wishes to the sky, where the Gods will hear you. Maybe the Gods will hear me out this time.

Piece by piece, the fire licked up the pages hungrily. How easy they burn. But as I throw the pages into the fire, piece by piece I read them and I remembered how hard it was for me to to wait for his email everyday, patiently waiting, wondering what he was doing while I write about what happened here everyday... I look at the date, everysinglefreakingday. Even on weekends. How stupid is that? I am so stupid... I am