Friday, August 05, 2005

What would you do?

Listening to: Guang Liang - Tong Hua
Feeling: Hot and sticky like hell

"Everyone comes to me with their problems" he had told me once. "Who should I go to with my problems? I thought about it and realized that I could only turn to you"

Who should I turn to then?

I know I can turn to Gem, G, Sarah N and Nini but then how long would they want to listen to my mad rantings bitching? Sometimes when I need someone to talk to late at night, I could only turn to myself.

He had asked me once, "Why does it seem like you have no problems at all?" I wanted to answer him "Because the problems I have mainly stems from you" but refrained. Instead, I told him "You yourself choose to see if you have a problem or not. If you think you don't have that big a problem, you wouldn't really talk about it"

Selfless? Maybe just stupid.

Sometimes I wonder, things that I had done for him... Does he realize that I had done for him? Things like being a zombie the next morning because he called me to talk at 3am and it has to be at least 2 hours before we put down the phone or putting aside whatever I am doing to talk to him?

Of course I know that I had been a willing partner in doing all these things. After all, it takes two to tango. But the thought... The thought that I had been doing all these things, that I was so stupid was fascinating.

I told Gigi yesterday that I was really disappointed that things had to turn out the way it turned out to be and I really wanted the easy way out. I want to stay away from him. Break off all contact from him, ignore his messages and pretend not to hear his call. It breaks my heart because I know what this would come to... The end of our friendship. Should I do it?

He'll come to hate me but it is easier than to cry silent tears.


LadyGem said...

Hey G, that's my song to her... How can you steal my SONG?!?

Anyways Pink, as I said before and I'd say it again & again & again... When you cry, you only hurt yourself and your eyes, he wouldn't know that.

We your hommies will stand by you any time, any day and any situation. Love you babes.

Anonymous said...

its my party and i'll cry if i want to~~~ cry if i want to, cry if i want to~~~ you would cry to if it happened to you~!!!

Pinkity said...

Ekks. dun like tht song. And bleh.. it's not even my party. hehehehe Thanks u guys... *group hugz*