Sunday, July 03, 2005

Beautiful Disaster

Listening to: Fish Leong - Fly Away
Feeling: Tired, sad and fat

Had a girl's night at my place because we were bored and me, Sarah N and Gigi all wanted to have a good cry. So, drove out, sent Sarah N back home to get her clothes, pick GG up and of course, load up on the carbo, fat laden and salt infested food. Bought RM30 over bucks worth of junkfood and ciggies... T.T NoOooooOOO

Agenda of the Night

The 4years and 11months curse
2 nights ago after meeting up, these immortal words suddenly popped up into my mind, 'Yi Hwa, the 4years and 11months curse is over. You are now starting anew.' and I sms-ed Sarah N. She said 'it is great that you are now starting to unload your burden' Great words from a wise sage. Little did I know that I can't really lie to myself. Eventhough, yes I do think that it is now time to move on, but why do I still cry whenever I hear 'Wei Wo Hao'?

The Great PK and GG divide
I absolutely have no idea on what the hell is going on between both of them.. We all need to let go one in one point of our lives.. Guess I should tell myself that first.

The Fish Songs
Wonderful songs from Fish Leong was the first to make me cry. *Sniff*

Men who are assholes
GG said,' I've read this from 'He's just not that into you', the conclusion was that 'You've already got one asshole, why do you need another one?' The 3 musketeers laughed. Hysterically. Some men are assholes. Sarah N's target happens to be a huge one. He had hurt her so badly, she is just suffering in silence. Sometimes I wish I could just beat the shit out of him..

Men who you have confessed to but is still treating you so nicely you just want to jump off KLCC Twin Towers and die
SD6 treats me like a princess... Gigi said that it is most prolly because he feels guilty and wants to treat me nicer because he don't want to hurt me. Sarah N says she envies me and said 'Wouldn't it be good if he would pretend to be mine for a day eventhough I know it is not. I just want to feel his hands in mine and I want to know how it feels like to hold the hand of the person you love. Is it sweet? Is it warm?' I envied her because I thought it would be much easier if me and SD6 have no connections whatsoever. I could just forget him... Didn't work.

What is the feeling of...?

- holding hands with someone you love?
Me: *shrugs*
Sarah N: *shrugs*
Gigi: You'd feel like as though you do not want to let go, that you're protected and warm. It's a good feeling...
Me and Sarah N: *Stars in eyes*

- hugging someone you love?
Me: bitter.. tinged with sweetness..
Sarah N: *hmmmmi*
Gigi: do not want to let go, you want to stay there forever...*spaces out*

- making love with someone you love?
Me: *silence*
Sarah N: *toodedaaa*
Gigi: It is very sensual, different from just having a fuck. It is not about the physical feeling. It is about the emotional fulfillment. It feels damn good.
Me and Sarah N: *sweatdrops*

Came to a conclusion finally that we actually enjoy the pain that it brings. I have to agree that I do have an urge to keep the feeling. Gigi agrees... Maybe pain is good... I wish I have more yung chi..


Anonymous said...

and you forgot....when 're touching them or feeling them.....u feel just so secured like nothing bad will ever happen to you because he'll protect you. ur heart just feels all tingly and u could feel ur blood rushing. u'll just smile with no apparent reason. but of course it only works in the first month. after that.......they just became our second asshole......

chinyew said...

why bastards hurt nice girls?
and why bitches hurt nice guys?

it just doesn't sum up.

but a friend once told me, if all nice guy and girls ending up together, there wouldn't be any least hope for the fuckups.

and so, God is kind...

i think.


Pinkity said...

So meaning, God wants to balance out the fucked up people and so we will each receive second assholes?

chinyew said...

for me, its more like fuck-ups like me have atleast a small glimpse of hope to hope for that's all.

and also, chances for the whole world to be a better place is bigger, when the positive try to convert the negative. but its a shame if the negative fucked-up the positive so bad, resulting the conversion way round.

so least, God gives us a choice to make the world a better place or a more fucked-up place.

its actually entirely up to us.

the fuck-ups or not fuck-ups that is..

Thou mayest...