It's out of the bag

Listening to: Coco Lee - Secretly Loving You
Feeling: Sleepy

And so he found out about this blog and read everything I had thought about him.

First reaction was shock, then I laughed, and then panic again and everything mellowed down to relief. Maybe it was a good thing that he knows. Maybe, who knows that things will turn out to be just peachy, given some time. Who knows by knowing that he now knows how I feel, I'll feel better too?

Ah, who the hell knows...

So he tells me that he feels like a jerk after reading previous posts. I have to first clarify that I did not intend for him to sound like one. Most of the time I thought that he deserves it but then again, I am always angry when I blog about him.

Everything that I had written about him was from the point of view of an angsty girl who had too much time in her hands, thus thinking about everything in different angles. Thus the anger. So unnecessary.

The very moment that I realized what I had done, I immediately freak out and spent that whole evening just freaking out. Sought counsel from Gem, G and Nini immediately at Central Perk. (well, at least it was not Coffee Bean, where people sit discussing problems that could never be solved, watch Bewitched to understand)

Gem: It's a no-win situation.
Translation: You're dead meat

Nini: You should have a talk to him and work things out.
Translation: It's up to you to settle this. I have nothing to advice

G: *gape*
Translation: What the hell is wrong with you woman?

And that was it.

I think they're sick of me telling them things like that. Every time I bring this subject up, they look at me apprehensively. I mean, well, I would feel sick of myself too if I put myself in their shoes. 5 years of listening to someone pining over something that won't happen isn't exactly fun.

For that I totally love them. Supplying tissues and shoulders ain't fun. I know because I had been there. I love them to bits.

OK then, am moving on from this. Nic, there will be no more depressive posts. It'll all be sunshine and rainbows. I hope... *fingers crossed!!!*